TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2201, 17 August 1886, Page 2

TE AWAMUTU GOSSIP.

This letter i.s written in all the spasmodic ways that a real hungry boy would sup .scalding hot porridge. He hesitates at each spoonful, looks sideways at it, blows upon it, and finally fills himself with it, although the efforts of appropriation cause his throat to become .scarified in the process. If mv readers, even the daintiest of them, will take pot luck with me, 1 welcome them as heartily «ia the Prince of Wales would while doing honours for hi* Royal Mother at one of her legal receptions. I will .sup ply the best f<ire I ha\ c, although I snciitice in the cause hospitality the pet of my bachelor heath rug. My pet i> a cat, and the kind purling way in which »he encom passes me after long honih of absence, causes me to feel an affection for her that the Hank of New Zealand is not rich enough to purchase. "Tis only a c*t. She is now upon thi>> manuscript and her tail claims affinity with my moustache, and *he run*, and purs around me as if she really lou*d me, that i-, accoiding to her feline lights. L ha\e ne\er fed her, 01 made much of her, yet. eveiy nisrht .she i-. waiting at the door to lake possession oi, and reign in the autocratic right of her instinctive kindue-s a.s queen of my bacheloi don ieile. Only a cat, but, my fiiends, the singleness of the affection that poor pussy purs to me, conMik me mightily toi the many troubles, no doubt richly deserved ones, th.it prewngly and thormly enciicle me. 1 would sooner hide my face in pussy \ hir and cry heartily, than 1 would blink an eye, and thereby bhow the annoyauco tho^e who in their innocency of white-washed imm«icul.itenc"». deride me with. Tu^sy i-, despotically supreme in her

rule. She get-* upon the table, and is op. I>rt>-,*i\ t-ly kmd. She ruba her nose across my forehead in all the kindness of her instinctive giatitudc-— full payment for nothing. What can I do but let her walk round, until >he, disgusted with my want of acknowledging affection, leaves the table to coil upon the pillow of my bed, to keep it warm until I usurp her position. On tho pillow I ifipn in her wtead, and .-he dreams of mice on th»' diugget. frofesaoi Lin Medo gave an entertainment here on Friday evening last. He displayed a high werise of bathetic taste in the airang«-tm«nt of his platform. The audience were attracted by faces— l believe etch of them was an oil-painting — that looked out fioin their canvases m all the variations of facial exprebhion. Mirth, Borrow, despondency, courage, cowardice, true religion, fanaticism, cunning, to tho verge ot incipient m.idne*.*, as well a* horrible murder, stared the people in the face, and prepared their minds for what wan to follow. While a lady was awaken* nig sympathetic pchoe* in the hearts of thone who listened to her by brilliant execution on the piano, the professor appeared, clothed in .in intercnting oh\e complexion of intellectuality, and a black ck>th evening hiiit. Tho audience, in *pite of the wet night, was an encouraging one, and a lot of people who intended to come were prevented from doing so by the wetness of thn evening, Tho professor opened his entertainmeiit by giving Sergeant Buzfuz'a address in the celebrated breach of promine >uit from Tick wick. Mr liuzfuz ii.ay have bpen a mighty counsel, but if he spoke, aa repeated by Lio Medo, one ceases to wonder at l'ickwirk'N immolation, for the rhetoric of elocution attracted the verdict and kept it to. The profcMor's lecture on phrenology was marked by deep study, and interspersed with .quotations that vouched for hid ciudition. His rendering of Longfellow's "Coquette" would, Imi tvn 5 , have surprised the author of that poem into pleasing wonderment at the happy way in which he had struck the popular key and made it resound to genius. Lio Medo's platform examinations, at which even clergymen submitted to his manipulations were successful to a degree, and although a certain amount of humour begemmed them, the "grit" of the truth was acknowledged by repeated applause. I have only one objection to Professor Lio Medo, and th.it is his constant habit of terming this " centre of the universe" merely a village. In the strength of his world-renowned fame he may be right, but ri^ht is not at all timet acceptable, although it should be, mind you, and it causes an egotistical people to look upon him, not as a popular instructor, but us ,i god whose free and independent republican ideas of truth cau-.es him to call a '.pade a sp.ide and a fool a fool. It i-> a long time since the people here have been treated to such a performance of iustructhe entertainment, and let all who read thn fully understand that Lio Modo i-. * gentleman, educated, versatile, andas«cienttbc and polite Artemus Ward would «.iy) a fellow who deserves to havo his back scraped.