MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1133, 16 December 1873, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

New Reading of an Old Proverb.— Man proposes, and woman seldom re fuses The author of the saying, " You must always take a man as you find him," was a police-constable. An American paper says in one of its issues :—" On Monday, April 10, five hundred barrels of Cincinnati whiskey were landed on the levee in Louisville. On Wednesday, the 12th, the " Louisville Courier," Journal appeared without a line of editoral, The newest style of bonnet is graphically described as a cross between a locomotive smoke stack and a custard pie. The measures spoken of in music refer generally to time. An exception is made in the case of handorgans, which furnish music by the barrel. Good for a Square Meal.—At Barnum's show one day, a young husband, the happy father of a chubby, rosycheeked baby, was wandering about the concern, and after a while neared the head-quarters of the " Wild Fiji Cannibals. Holding the aforesaid offspring in his arms he stooped to view these feeders on human flesh. Mr Fiji accosted the papa thusly : —" Fattee baby, white man ; good eat; tender. Fiji man like him. How muchee price ? Fiji man pay Melikee man dollars." The horrified father drew back aghast, but hastily responded in this wise : —" What'll you give, noble savage ?" " Fiji man give ten dollars." "Too cheap ; worth more ; but I'll tell you what I'll do. I've got a nice old mother-in-law at home, I'll sell you for five dollars. She's rather tough eating, but good for a square meal.— San Francisco News Lotter. The following " yarn" is published in a Victorian paper:—>" It is believed by those who have resided at Echuca during the height of summer, that there is no place in the world like it for fleas, and an amusing story is told about them. Some time back a railway official applied to be removed from the district, on the ground that the fleas were unbearable, and their attacks would be injurious to his health. His request was deemed absurd, but, determined to prove that he had told the truth, he one night got up, lighted his lamp, went flea-hunting, and in the course of an hour or two had filled an ordinary sized matchbox with these bosom companions and backbiters. Next morning he sent hia ' game' down to the department and the ' powers that be' were so amused with his originality, that they granted his request." The latest addition to the advertising vocabulary hails from Philadelphia, wherein we are informed that a certain actor will " tragediate." We might as well burn our dictionaries at once, and await philological chaos with the apathy of despair.