WITH THE UNEMPLOYED.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XII, Issue 3822, 29 May 1891, Page 2

WITH THE UNEMPLOYED.

A LITTLE FRESH AIR AT THE COUNTRY'S EXPENSE. "Well mate, wot d'ye say if we takes a trip hup to Heketahuna and 'as a look round and shoots a few pigeons. The bloomin' Government is sending hup the hunemployed. We're hunemployed don't yer twig ? Anyhow we've only got to say so, and we git a free pass on the railway same as the bloomin' M.H.R.'s, tucker on the road, and a haxe and tent chucked in. Boozes and baoca yer find yerself." Thus remarked an individual of a oerlain well known

class (who in some way or another manage to live by preying on their neighbors) to his bosom pal as the two leant idly against the doorpost of a city hotel. "The wery identical," was the reply. "It ocourred to me as how I could do with a little fresh hair, my only troubles wos the old 'ooman and the kids." "That's easy settled," said number one, "wot do we keep a benevolent sassiety for I should like to know, if a poor 'ard working man's wife and kids aint to be looked arter when he goes for a little 'oliday." This most convincing argument settled matters beyond dispute, and the two worthies made their arrangements accordingly. In due time the City of Pubs wa. reached, the inner man duly refreshed (at the country's expense), a stock of tobacco and cartridges laid in (paid for, top), and with thankful hearts that it was their gcod fortune to have strayed into a country : which provided for them so well and ' treated them with such parental affection, they gaily stepped on board the coach and were soon ractling along on the next stage of their journey. " I say, Bill," said number one to his comrade, " Wot a lot o' mugs those other blokes must have been not to 'ave come along. Just fancy there was to have been seventy on us, and all as had the 'tart to come was me and you and four others. Wots the use of bavin' the Liberal Govern* ment in power if you don't take advantage of it, I say." " Well, I means to, anyhow, Jack. How long are you a goin' to stop." " Dunno yet, Bill, 'Ave to look around a bit I 'spose, and see if any old pals came up with the last lot." A week later, and on the wharf end sit two men. It is Bill and Jack returned frpm their little outing. They look happy and contented, albeit more ruddy in the face. Perhaps this is the beautiful glow caused by the fresh cool forest breeza. Still, it might be the fiery tinge left by the inward application of busb whiskey. Who can tell ? " Well, maiey, and I did enjoy myself, and I only 'opes that another batch will be seat off somewhere else soon. You can't beat the vvorkin' man's Government (which is the Liberals) not by no means—if a covey knows his way around that is. i Of course if he don't, well he may be i blooinin' jay enough to try and knock i some of those ere trees down like some i of those chaps wot went up with us. ; But you and I knowed a thing or two i worth two of that didn't we, eh ? ( My eye yes. As if any man wot > had twp 'ands to 'elp himself with, s and a tongus as could tell a stiff, < would starve. The very thought of them poor chaps workin' up there in the mud makes me feel quite miserable like. Why didn't they sneak away like us. But then some folks are uncommon soft. I'm a gettiu' dry, lets go and get a long " un." And they did so, while the little fishes that floated round wondered whether there were many of the same sort op whom a country's sympathy had been lavished, and whether Ministers in every land were as recklessly munificient with other people's money!