PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2785, 29 December 1887, Page 2

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

BY Our Wellington Watchman, Last days are provorbially sad days, whether the last days at school, the last days of youth, the last days of single blessedness, the last days of a" long voyage, or tho last days, of life. The last days of the session of 1887 were no exception to this rule. They were very sad. ■ They'were more,, they weresleepy. Towards the close Major Atkinson-who' evidently supposed he ps'|li|l jn pf.% ljiu3hwhackei:s,\aiia that he was carry- • ing out"ti- qa'm|aigu of forced inarches, kept th§ noses' of his 'obedient follpoi's |o tliQ ; -gjiii§stQiiQ,: M pugliTlje

could compel ■ the'attendance of: the most, subvervient of these, he could no,t' inake them keep''awake, arid they lay about tlio parHamentary benches, in attitudes more ' or -less elegant-generally less—and; snored in a manner, more or less stentorious—genorally more., But long : ere- the last stage of the session was reached, considerably oyer 50 per .cent of our representatives had departed homeward, there to fight; over before their admiring friends the battles of the session, to exhibit their scars, and perhaps to draw their prize money.

The majority of those who remained were, I presume, Ministerialists, as the Premier forced through most of his measures with considerable majorities. Vogel, however, was on the spot until the last, and he and Atkinson sat and glared at one anothsr, and kept, a vigilant watch over the House like the twin Colossi of Amenophis keeping ' eternal ward over the sands of the desert. Mr Hutchison was there also, generally as busy as an old serpent in a gale of wind. Mr Fisher was there severely on guard, chuckling at the success of his'chief, but not sorry that all would soon be over, arid that he would be released from the infantile gibes of the phenomenon and little Dr Fidget. Fergus towered on' high and preserved the glossiness of his hat, and the abandon of his whiskers to the last, and had a stock of rather vociferous and Presbyterian eloquence on tap, ready to pour out at the slightest notice, Messrs Hislop and Mitchelson sat'together—a pair of parHamentary babes in the wood, sad, sleepy, but! resigned. Messrs Beetharn and Buchanan* were on hand, the- former looking slightly. worn, but still with the remnants of .beauty about him, while Mr Buchanan wistfully yearned for his native heath, and a re-uniou with his beloved rams and ewes, tuphoggets and shearlings. Mr Peacock remained, so did Messrs Monk, Bruce, Guinness, Joyce, Menteath, Wilson, D. Goldie, Blake, Moat, and some others.

I omitted to mention that when the reduction of the salaries of Parliamentary officers was on the tapis, the subject of the salary of the Sergeant-at-arms was discussed, k number of soulless members were in-favor, of •.reducinghis emoluments—l was about to write his "screw," but the .term would have been blasphemous in such a connection. Some members reconciled the proposed reduction to their consciences by the plea that all the SergeanUt-arms has to do was to lift the mace on to a table and off a table, once or twice during a sitting. - These people lost sight of the fact that this official Embodies in • himself a great British principle—tlio principle of looking pretty and being well paid for it. His vory presence in that House

give 3 a'TONE to it, and with a •' Divine Effulgence 'fills the air."..The Sergeant at-arms wears, so to speak, the uniform of British respectability—an evening, dress-suit. Personally he is very beautiful, He toils not neither does he spin and he lifts a stick up and down, and we-my brethren the taxpayers and myself—pay'him handsomely for it.'. What more would you have ? Would you expect an English officer and a~ gentleman,, the Embodiment of that great and glorious class, the Barnacles, the secret of England's ■greatness, to work for his living. like

any common fellow? So long as this country has a Governor who wears

stars and a splendid uniform, judges and barristers who wear horse-hair wigs, and a Sergeant-at arms with an exaggerated drum-major's stick,'will New Zealand claim the respect and admiration of the Nations of the earth.

Onco relinquish these bulwarks of hei

glorious constitution and the Bussians would sack Wellington the next day. Those members who declared that the Sergeant was a useless official must be wilfully blind.. Suppose Sir Julius Vogel were to become obstreperous at any time, and, urging his chair upon its wild career, wore to charge the speakerj who

would wrestle with the infuriated and rebellious Vogel? Why, the gallant Sergeant, to be sure, He would snatch that mace from its resting place, and brain the audacious oxColonial Treasurer. Why the Sergeant is worth twice the money. .

A goodly number of our Representatives owe their elections to the teetotal votß and interest, but the only one that I noticed as staunch to his guns was Mr D. Goldie, who consistently, in season and out of season, fulminates against the rum that is red. In the debate on the Railway Bill, Mr Goldie desired to know whether a clause oould not be introduced prohibiting the sale by the Commissioner of intoxicating fluids, and ho eventually moved with this object, but could get no support, and his large blue ribbon and himself both quivered with indignation.

I previously mentioned, I think, .the ostentatious' acts of jubilation of Mi: Oarker Hutcliison. Had the session been much longer protracted, I think he would have had the bells rung, and a solemn Te Deum performed in all' the Churches, Towards the finish, when even tbie most hardened members became, through overfatigue, weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable, the Hon. Member for Waitotara blossomed like the rose, and put on anew yquthfulness and a wide-aplpess that was positively appalling. I seem to see him now, entering that jadod House, i gaudy, in an ample and aggressive frock, a light and glowing scarf,, resplendent continuations, and a brand new pair of speoiaoles, Mark his jauntinqss I Ha sauntereth in as one who 'sets to partners,' wipethhisfioble brow wet with honest sweat, with a fair lawn handkerchief, waltzeth to the right, to the left, suddenly remembereth the presence of. the Speaker, bowethwith inimitable grace, smiles with a smile "that is Ghoul-like but bland,;and passeth to his seat with a varsovianna step, where ho re.adoth, "Self Help".by .Glancing down ,115011 the Hon. Member 1 am struck l)y his strong resemblance to tliat Brummagem politician " Three 'cow Chamberlain';'"

■l pste nrv \-MW& IiHIQ fjiii at

Waitotara, but I'am' m'iicji;, mistaken, ; if he does hot yet •■ make his presence felt in that House.;. He has brains, a /not illogical cast of mind, and, appar- \ 'ehtly, persistence. He makes an uncommonly good speech on occasions, i dud though pompous and prolix, and ' by uo means a lavorite,; he may by no means be despised as an ally, or undervalued as a foe.'. .

On the last evening, I think it was, I noticed in the strangers gallery, a gentleman of color,—by far the blackest gentleman I ever saw, even; in Ethiopia, Ho glanced down at the "Young barbarians at play " with a most contemptuous expression on his ebon features. I should not-have noted this gentleman's presence, had it not been the last night. Remembering that, and noting his complexion, I romembered also '■ that the Enemy ot Mankind is* popularly "supposed to •possess a rather charred cuticle, and I may be pardoned for wondering whether the charcoal gentleman was our old friend who crawled around in Eden, and whether-he had come to fetch any of the lion gentlemen below, and if so, which oi theni.

I may niention that since I last wrote, there occurred" a brush between Mr Macarthur and &r Julius Vogel, in which the former decidedly scored the odd trick, Mr Macarthur in moving a resolution in connection with the Loan Bill, defended himself against Vogel's allegation, that he had been asked to move it by the Government. He had, he said, never moved any resolution for that or any other Government—with one exception; in 'B6 he had moved a resolution to strike off a certain item in the Supplementary Estimates, which had been placed; thereon by a Government (Stout"Yogel) supporter, but which item the then Government wished struck out without giYingoffence to saidsupporter, Sir J.'Vogel had requested Mr Maearthur to object to the item, and he had so done to oblige Vogel. Tableau!

These little items bring us down to Thursday last (22ud December.) Many' measures had by this time been rushed through the House, but other or more important measures remained to be disposed of, andthough the large majority of those few members still at their posts had been crushed into passing any thing as long as they got away on Friday morning, it was evident that an immense quantity of vital pugnacity still remainied in Messrs Yogol and Hutchison; and that they might indefinitely delay the. breaking-up for the holidays. The great bone of contention—so far as Mr Hutchison was concerned—was the Australasian Naval Defence Bill, which, I take leave to •say, it was infamous to use at such a time,-with more than half the members away, and the otherhalf hardly com-, pos limitis. However, Atkinson introduced it in his usual manner of " There's no compulsion, only you must." Vogel loved the Bill well enough, and only objected to -Atkinson's part, in it.'. "Anything that * smacks of Imperalishi. anything that is gorgeous, anything that has flags, and uniforms, and gold laces into it, is bound to pleasg our local Ben Dizz. He likes the magnificent and would, had he the power,, pass a Bill for the construction of a New Zealand Solomon's temple tomorrow. If New Zealand attains the Honor of supporting a couple of English war vessels, I feel certain." that Yogel, should he return to power, will have a Rear-Admiral to wheel his go-cart about, and a Post-Captain to carry his portfolio. (To be Continued).