DAD’S DAY

Wairarapa Times-Age, 15 September 1938, Page 10

DAD’S DAY

♦ AN AMUSING INCIDENT. Much amusement was caused in a local shop a few days ago, when two little girls and a boy walked in, looking very serious and thoughtful, in quest of suitable gifts for Dad. One little girl picked up a bottle of bath essence and said: “I think Dad would like this.” Her sister objected: “Mum likes smells, but Dad doesn’t. I think he will like this,” she said, picking up a bottle of Hansell’s non-perfumed hair cream. “This does not smell, and it will make Dad’s hair look tidy.” The little boy then said: “I'm going to give my Dad a bottle of Milko for home-made milk shakes.” One of his girl friends looked at him and said: “Your greedy little pig. You know your Dad never drinks milk, although he lives in Masterton. You want it yourself.” “I’m NOT greedy,” said the little boy. “You know I never drank milk before I tried Hansell’s Milko at your place. You guzzle enough, anyway, and it’s much nicer than whisky.” “I like that,” said his girl friend. “You know you ate too much trifle last week because. it was flavoured with Hansell’s Rum flavouring.” “You needn’t talk,” hotly remarked the small male, “your mother said you are always eating too much cake since she started to use Hansell’s Flavourings.” Things were beginning to get rather heated when a shop assistant said: “You all seem to be rather keen on Hansell’s.”

The second little girl, who till then had preserved a rigid silence, said: “Well, Hansell’s are good. They make things for Mums and Dads and children, and they now sell stuff called ‘Morlife’ to make everyone feel young and well. There is an old man living next door who has been talking of dying for years. A little while ago he got a bottle of ‘Morlife’ and two or three weeks after he started to take it he went and bought a new Vauxhall car, and he tried to drive so fast he ran into a post and knocked a man off his bicycle and bumped him so badly he was all bruises. v So the old man got the cyclist a bottle of Hansell’s Hand Lotion and he soon got well again. Now he plays golf with a brand new set of golf clubs he got from the W.F.C.A.” An amused onlooker said: “There seems to be a lot of enterprise about Hansell’s. They not only make and sell a lot of things, but help other' people to sell motor cars and golf clubs.” “Yes,” said both little girls, “they always Bring out s’prises. They are now bringing out jelly crystals with ‘glucose’ in them.” “Gosh!” said the little boy, “I’m glad, because Auntie always stays with us in the holidays and she does most of the cooking to give Mum a rest, and about the only thing she can cook is jellies. I bet they’ll be Hansell’s, and we won’t get sick of them. Of course, she can boil kippers as well as other people, and she gets them from Whiteman’s. "They have lovely kippers, and and anyone can turn on a good breakfast with them. They are so easy to cook. I am looking forward to Hansell’s Glucose Jelly Crystals.” “Yes,” said the shop assistant. “I hear they will soon be increasing the staff because they are only just keeping ;up with the demand for the good things they already make.” <!