ORIGINAL TALE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume I, Issue 48, 9 January 1869, Page 6

ORIGINAL TALE.

A ROMANCE OF THE NINE- . . ::- TEENTH OENTUEJ.

My name is Reginald Eitz-Eustaee 3ootjack;' my descent "is noble/ my .talents great. Cruel fortune sunk our family . into poverty ; but Noah had three" 'sons, and I cm. prove my descent from one of them. My father pursued the humble but dignified occupation oi itinerant vender, of -, vegetables, and obtained much custom from the no--bility and gentry by the sweet tones in which he proclaimed his wares. 'Ah me ! like the sighing of a zephyr is borne back to me his sweet soug of " Ca-a-a-b-b-ag-ees and ing-uns," drawing a silent tear from my eye as a tribute to his memory. But I, Eeginald Fitz-Eustace, could not stoop to such a calling ; poesy found me at the costermonger's barrow and raised me to a loftier sphere.- *-• 1 was born in the year 1850, and singular to say, my natal hour was celebrated by a solar eclipse and a ferocious assault on a policeman. My education, was sadly neglected; for my mother, with that eccentricity "which often accompanies the. loftiest* bh#h, wiled away her leisure time by assiduous attention to the wash-tub. My letters were picked up from the hoardings of our great 1 Metropolis ; and :at-j/the: at-j/the early age of three' I astonished a fond parent by discriminating the difference between " The Sydenham Trousers " and " Thorley's Pood for Cattle." Struck by my proficiency, he in a few years permitted me to follow a literary life, and apprenticed me to a bill-sticker. It was in the summer of '65 when my fame was just beginning -to dawn on the world ; when Moses and Son had engaged me as their laureate, that my heart first experienced the pangs and pleasures of love. I had just carried round a large order — the cosmacapaleion cigar-case, or ontologophantasmic head-dress, I forget which— and dressed in the height of fashion, — for Moses and Son supplied me with two suits a year, — that I beheld a dame of peerless figure stepping out of a 'bus. I paused for a moment; a volume of poetic . thoughts flashed through; my mind, and raising myself to jtny full height ; (I am tall — four feet eleven in high- ' heeled boots), I advanced to meet the ; charmer. 1 " Hail ! peerless creature ! " Ij exclaimed ; " permit an unfortunate, 1 child of the Muses- to lay a tribute of . song at thy graceful feet " ; ' She paused vand panted; for: the day was hot, and her form majestic ; then witlx a, Lawglaty aristocratic air replied, " None of your hiinperence, you starve- > ling srimp you ; " and prostrating me in the gutter with one Bweep of her graceful hand,- passed on,~- as the divine Swan of Avon has. remarked, in " maiden meditation, fancy free." 1 raised - myself, and heedless of the damage done to my inexpressibles \ (Sydenham, only thirteen and six, and a perfect fit guaranteed), rushed after , my charmer. I beheld her enter the gilded halls of, fashion ; in Belgravo . Square; and my heart leaped with. joy because my conquest, I felt assured, 1 was one of the aristocracy of England. ; [Here follows a rhapsody ten columns long, which we spare our readers. — . Ed. " T.T."] I hung about the place k in the hope that my mistress might > vouchsafe to smile upon her servant, but in vain ; nobility seldom stoops to \ encourage ; its smiles are the reward L r of darlng-anA genius. I composed a ' song and Bang it Tjefore her door, and 1 a footman came out and gave me sixi pence to go away. I laughed in my sleeve and -endured the_ insolence of - the lacquey, for I knew the coin was a i token from my lady. Thus I continued » until one happy day I beheld her leaning against the area railings ; and ' trembling, yet confident, I advanced. \ keeping ,beyond the reach of those fair . arms, as beauteous as they were power-, . ■ dainful to thy most hum I 0 fairest, loveliest, bvig^JJ^^^M a pcx, on my knees I swear 6 it 11 I,^ responsive af&Jj^^H 3 you mean, you do." ' 'P ? vHSW > What,'.', said I, the muse inspiring ' me, what is all the pickled salmon < tne world, wanting tW° **~° jQic'iestj. . spwts are as ashes if mT mouth while] ' thou art still unlur^ --- -3r " Well," - s Ma-she; " yoa're a goodl young man, hi dj' I e s ~ a y> ? ou ® a pass ; so step"hu4-a n^ ta^ hover.". ; ■ i^fbllowedhe'rV not into *^« aded : hall of fashion- -Jfhe^ a .cruel parent ' wight disturb -oulk ini i? .t^culmary .depSagj^^ W[ "And you promise to '^^^^^^1 said she. ' - w I swore.. o^T^^^^^^H would have seam& '^I^^^^^H coral lips "had nof%H^^^^^^H entered. • = .• ' l^^^^^^^^^^H ," 4young sparlt^^^^^^^^H ' -Keep 'im to it; H^^^^^^^H fairj palace crumbledS^^^^^^H ■he^teM fat old proa^^^^^H

niy.face with ier' yile,, greasy, .lips. .■ I tore -myself -away, jeered by- the .flunkey, and sped. along the street* to my humble abode. "* T always knew I was watched. I thought: "my poem on Moses' two-and-skpenny umbrella _would give, offence in the highest quarters ; .and now -everyone seemed t,o know and glory in my disaster. /t:/ t: Who stole the cold mutton ? " they cried. " Who made love 1o the cook? " "Ha! ha! greasy tail." Such were the taunts I, the poet and philosopher, had to endnre. At length a compassionate person bade me look behind. I looked, and oh horror ! never-dying, ncvei'-ending, never-to-be-forgotten horror! the wretch had pinned a g.-e«tsy dish-clout to my coat-tail !