SCENE IN AN AMERICAN COURT.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1050, 2 January 1883, Page 1

SCENE IN AN AMERICAN COURT.

Judge.—Bring the prisoner into Court. Pete,—Here I is, bound to blaze, &s the spirits of turpimtine said when it was all afire.

J.—We will take a little of the lire out of you. How do you live ? P.—l ain’t paticular, as the oyster said when they axed him if he’d be fr ied or roasted.

J.—We don’t want to hear what the oyster said, or the turpentine eiths?, What do you follow ? P.—Anything that comes in my way, as the locomotive said when he run over the little -nigger. J.—We don’t care anything about the locomotive. What’s your business? P. —That’s various, as the cat said when she stole the chicken off the table. J.—That comes nearer the line I suppose.

P.—Altogether in my line, as the rope said when it was choking the pirate

J.—lf I hear any more abusurd comparisons I will give you twelve months. P.—l am done, as the breakfast said to the cook.

Ji —Now, sir, your punishment shall depend upon the shortness and correctness of your answers. I suppose you live by going round the docks 7 p _No, sir, I can’t go round the docks without a boat, and I han’t jjot none, J.—Answer mo ; how do you get your bread ? p —Sometimes at the baker’s, and sometimes I eat taters. J._No more of that stupid insolence, How do you support yourself ? P.—Sometimes on my. legs, and

sometimes on a chair. J, —I order you now to answer this question correctly : How do you do 7 P.—-Pretty well, 1 thank you, Judge, How do you do ? J.—l shall have to commit you. P.—Well, you have committed yourself first, that’s some consolation.