PUNCH'S 'MOTHER'S CATECHISM'

Colonist, Volume IV, Issue 428, 29 November 1861, Page 4

PUNCH'S 'MOTHER'S CATECHISM'

DESIGNED FOR THE USE OP THE RISING GENERATION. CORRECTED UP TO THE LATEST AUTHORITIES.

q. My child, come here and listen to me. a. I come, dear mamma, but I do not recognise the propriety of your calling me your child. I belong to the state, to which you are responsible for my education. q. I admit that, my dear, and therefore I propose to question you upon some of the branches of knowledge. What is history ? a A. mass of dubious traditions colored by individual prejudices. Q. What, then, is the use of studying it ? a. That we may be able to contradict, by the aid of one writer, any statement sought to be forced upon us by another. q. Give me some instances of this contradictory process. a. With pleasure, dearest mamma. Q. Have you, then, more, than one mamma ? ' Dearest' implies comparison. A. I admit the inaccuracy, for which affection must be my apology. q. A sufficing one. We will now proceed with our lesson. Why was William the Second called Rufus ? a. Not, as iguorantly believed, from the color of his hair, which is known to have been black, nor because in his reign a roof was put upon Westminster Hall. q. How was he killed ? a. Not by Walter Tyrell, who was never near the part of the forest where the king fell. q. Has not the story of Richard tearing out the lion's heart long been exploded ? a. Yes, but improperly. Popular tradition was partially accurate, but the animal was a tiger, which had escaped from a travelling collection, and had devoured a favorite white deer, belonging to Queeu Berengaria. q. Did John murder his nephew Arthur ? a. No; they were most affectionately attached, and the king had sent Arthur a basket of nectarines on the day he died, probably from a fall out of a window. q. Is the celebrated scene of John signing the Great Charta fictitious ? a. Entirely. The copies were sent to bis hotel in a tin box, and he affixed the signatures while being shaved by his valet. Marks of lather are still found on two of them. q. Was the youth of Henry the Fifth as gay as has been described ? a. On the contrary he was remarkably holy and austere, and his nightly visits lo tie hospital to relieve the sick have been perverted into tbo revellings described iv the volume ascribed to Shakespeare. q. You say ' ascribed'—why ? a. Because the whole of the plays and poems, so long believed to have beeen Shakespeare's, were written by Southampton, with the aid of Sir Christopher Hatton, and they used as a norn de plume the name of an obscure actor. q. Did Queen Elizabeth order the execution of the Queen of Scots ? a. Mary was never executed at all—Elizabeth's love for her cousia forbad it—a show was made to deceive the public and discourage the disaffected—and Mary, under the name of Isabel Fontanges, lived for many years afterwards, and died at Rouen. q. Had James the First an antipathy to the sight of a swerd ? a. No, it is a slander. He was a good swordsman, and wounded tb3 Chevalier St. George in a duel, in which the king was incog. q. What was the meaniug of Charles the First's celebrated ' Remember ?' a. He used no such word. He said ' December,' thereby predicting the month in which Cromwell like himself, should appear at the place of execution. q,. Good child! Will you like to go and play? a. I thank you, dear mamma, for the expression of ycur approbation ; but I would, with your sanction, prefer to devote an hour to the study of Mr. Buckle on 1 the History of Civilization.'—Punch.