MISCELLANEOUS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2670, 11 October 1881, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The last words of a Deadwood man were —“ You’re a liar.” Further details would be superfluous. Justice was blind the other day, away out in a Texas Court —blind drunk. When the cheeky man takes a drink to increase his courage, ho makes assurance doubly sure. A belle of Narragansett is writing a hovel in which the hero is found in the desert chained to the bare hack of a bicycle. “Hazel Kirke” was performed at Carson the night before last, and so affected the audience that it was necessary to mop the floor of the Theatre between the Acts. When a member of the New York Legislature is asked by the barkeeper what he will take, the absent minded reply is “ 2000 dollars.” A Boston man has invented “ a collapsing boat.” It must bo moddelled after the ordinary excursion steamer. Many a young fellow thinks himself the cream of society when he is nothing but a milkshop. A Chinaman can learn the English language in four months, cuss-words and all.

Chicago has advanced the price of restaurant pie 25 cents, to follow the rise in scrap-iron.

One swallow does not make a summer, “ but,” says Snifkins, “it imparts a pleasant warmth.” The usual certificate —“Wbat’s-his-name’s balsam cured my wife of consumption after our physician said she must die.” The probabilities are that the doctor stopped coming and the patient recovered. Tbe “ Salvation Array” of England is a Jpretty considerable fact. It is the liveliest and most energetic religious movement since the foundations of Wesleyanism were laid, though the general public may hear less of it than of other revival movements tliat have taken place since then. This is because the preachers don’t take large balls, and make collect, ions that are worth crowing about in the newspapers, Tbe head of the movement is aMr Booth. He calls himself “ General,” and his preachers have other military titles. He orders them about from place to place, and his orders arc dated from “ Head-quarters.”