GOLF.

Putaruru Press, Volume VI, Issue 221, 26 January 1928, Page 8

GOLF.

THE LOW DOWN OF GOLF. An anonymous writes gives to an eagerly-awaiting world the following report from the Committee on Golf Research:— “ Golf is a form of work made expensive enough for man to enjoy it. Golf is what letter-carrying, ditchdigging and carpet-beating would be if these three tasks had to be performed on the same hot afternoon in short pants and coloured socks by men who would not otherwise walk a block to see the Statue of Liberty sit down. “ It is the only known game that a man can play for 25 years and then discover that it was too deep for him in the first place. There are 18 ‘ greens ’ on a golf course ; each ‘ green ’ is a small parcel of carefullyselected grass costing about 2 dollars 67 cents a blade and usually placed between a brook and several unfinished excavations by some fiend in human form, doubtlessly chief adviser to Satan. “ After each .hole has been played the golfer adds up his score, subtracts four and says, ‘ Made that one in par (shall we play for fifty cents on the next hole) too, Ed? ’ A peculiarity of the game is that even expert mathematicians cannot add above 87 on a golf score card. “At the end of the game each golfer joins the others in the locker room, sings ‘ Sweet Adeline,’ then goes home and spanks his son for telling lies.”