SHORT WAR STORIES.

Levin Daily Chronicle, 3 November 1917, Page 3

SHORT WAR STORIES.

A (FAST) SNIPER. Two snipers were out somewhere in France looking for a likely bag, when they were surprised by a shot from an enemy sniper. They both bolted, and later were expressing tlieir feelings to one another. "I say, Bill, did yer hear the bullet?" "Yes," replied Bill, "did you?" "Yes, I hear it twice, once when the bullet passed me and once wheii I passed the bullet." CHARACTERISTIC. The sergeant-major was addressing a man who had his eyes on the ground and his head held downwards in a listening attitude. "What were you in civil life?" he rapped out. "A gardener, sir," replied the recruit. "Oh! I see," said the sergeant-major, "you're listening for worms, eh?" QUITE SIMPLE. In a French village devastated by the Germans in their retreat, one house only was left standing. A British officer inquired of the owner, an ancient dame, the reason of her good fortune. "It is simple," she said. "The German commander's dearest friend, was my neighbour. On her door he placed an order that her house should be respected. In the night I transferred the order to my door. Virtue reigns triumphant, even in times of war, monsieur." SILENCE. Andy had joined the army, and soon after his arrival at his regiment he got into trouble. Accordingly he had to face his commanding officer next morning. The usual preliminaries were gone through, when. contrary to orderly room eiqueete, the recruit commenced to defend himself. "Silence!" roared the adjutant. "Thoo shut up," rejoined Andy, "Aa wasn't speakin' te thoo. Aa's taakin' te that add chop i' the cheor yonder." MISTAKEN IDENTITY. Captain Jones was a very roundshouldered and eccentric officer. On a particularly dark night in Egypt whilst practically his company in outpost duty," he approached one of the sentries, who failed to halt him. In a great rage the officer demanded of the now trembling sentry the reason why he had omitted to challenge Mm. "If you please, sir," stuttered the confused soldier, "I thought you was a crniel!''