RANDOM REMARKS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 134, 25 February 1909, Page 5

RANDOM REMARKS.

[Contributions to this column are always welcome fmm any part of the • district. The Editor docs not vouch » for the authenticity of the stories, nor f is he responsible for the criticisms.] Girls are, in my opinion, the most inconsistent creatures in the world. f There is nothing scientific about them. I It is impossible to deduce their future actions from their present inclinations. I remember once calling (by chance) to : see a young lady, and she was so nice to me that I carried off several arrows fastened deep in my heart, but when I met her again she pulled them all out. Oh, the agony of it all. I did not sleep again for weeks. And, in good faith. I do not think I have yet i recovered. I shall quote another case of their inconsistency. An acquaintance of mine who is very beautiful, and even on washing day looks most bewitching, once went to a dance. 1 was there. She had dressed herself in the moat delightful of evening dresses, j I don't know what the thing was made | of. but it wan enough to drive a man ! mad with love. I, with several other j young men. fell at her feet. She I treated us coldly. Froze our bodies | with icy remarks, but fired our love with the scintillation of her glorious eyes. Where. Oh ye Gods, is the justice or sense in this? If she did not ] want our love, why was «he so indis- I creel as to rouse it? Why did she i adorn herself so that no man could re- 1

- sist her charm*, and then, when sh« * had raised oor minds to heaven, whj did she dash them again to earth? Oti I daughters of Eve. ye have much tc i answer for. A heaven with you is ■ inconceivable, and one without you is - undesirable. As I said before, ye arc not scientific. There is no Seience of | Girl and never can be. They are un- • knowable and umiefinable. One girl ' will ignore the attentions of a king and marry her coachman, and another . will despise the coachman and love j her king. It is not possible to define !so variable a being. They love you today and hate you tomorrow. If you ! ignore them, they will seek you, and if you allow them to find you they will i break your heart. I once had a friend who had been engaged to several difTerI cnt girls for periods varying from six years to six days. They all jilted him. While smarting under these heartaches, he told me that the only way to get married was to propose today and marry tomorrow. He tried it with a girl be loved and she rejected him. He tried it on one he hated and she Hung herself in his arms and declared she loved him. She was in his arms then: now she is on his hands and he knoweth not what to do with her. Wbeo a boy. I remember at Sunday I School an old and venerable'gentleman gave us t»is_opinion in on the fall of Adam and the Garden of Eden. Hr condemned Adam for hearkening unto Eve and argued logically that he was the loser by doing'so. I loved the girl that was sitting by me, and, young as I was, I saw the fallacy in his reasoning. I longed for the Garden of Eden, and under the cool trees heard in imagination the sweet voice of my Eve pleading, pleading, pleading. Who : could resist? Our noblest preacher would yield. He would eat the apple* even though be knew be should die of indigestion afterwards. It is all very well for people to be respectable and bold up their bands sanctimoniously, but this Garden of Eden test was, and I is now, and ever shall be. far too sevI ere for human flesh and blood. I think I there is something bewitching even in | the word "girl." Some of the numerous bachelors please test it. After work when you are tired, sit down on | a log and murmur gently this one word. | Murmur it with your lips and your heart will answer, your poises will quicken, and if you are human and worthy of your father, Adam, you will scent the sweetness of roses; you will imagine a garden path, and a dear daughter of Eve, the light dancing in her eyesVill appear before you. She will pluck a lovely rose-blossom, wet and sparkling with dew. She will approach you, nearer, nearer, nearer, until at last to a glorious roll of drum? she places the beautiful blossom full upon your lips. Poor, poor bachelors, she will vanish and leave you. You will but open your arms to clasp her, she will evade you. You will seek her in the flesh, but you shall not find ber. No, never, never. These arc the dream girts, sweet, loving, and good. We can all imagine them. Happy is the man who finds the reality and loves and is loved.