SCHOOLBOY HUMOR.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2213, 10 June 1908, Page 2

SCHOOLBOY HUMOR.

SOME GISBORNE EXAMPLES It lias been said that humorists, like poets, are born, not made, but the author of that aphorism evidently forgot to include the scliool-boy in his calculations. For pure, unadulterated humor the average school-boy, to use an Americanism, “licks the world,” and his quaint manner of expressing himself makes him a most delightful creation. Few towns are without their youthful humorists, and Gisborne has apparently got its full quota. Recently; an examination was held at the Gisborne High School, and a glance at the answers to some of the questions set, makes most amusing reading. We are informed that one of the woollen towns of England is Wakefield. Plainly a libel oil Wakefield, or is it a compliment? Again, “An angle lias all its angles right angles.”—Euclkl modernized. An attempt is also made to improve our grammer for, according to one bright' scholar, “the past tense of ‘seek’ is ‘sook.’ ” Lady Macbeth is made to say: “Hie the hither, “That I may pour some of my spirits into your ear.” Truly, Shakespeare were well dead. The shock would have heeu too great. Did lie, we wonder, turn in his grave? York, we are told, is the capital of Yorkshire “on the '• Three ffih’fi^o'Tib , 'Wdrtfi' ! 'fii6fo’Tfiinf , $ E ’passmg thought. Wti'a.t is tlie Highlander’s kilt made from?—Horse-hair, was the answer. That lad’s nationality should not remain long in doubt. The question, what is the difference between, a clerk and a, salesman? was a puzzler, but one youthful genius got out of the difficulty in a characteristic manner. He said, “A clerk is a dark, and a salesman is a clerk.” —A most lucid and original answer. The matter of railways has been troubling Gisborne lately, and if we may believe the following answer to a question, rightly so. The answer was, ‘The advantage of a railway from Napier to Gisborne, one could come right through to Wellington without the journey, and arrive soonI er.”

- In the realm of sport, the schoolboy -is a shining tight, although his ideas may not at times find clear expression. “One cannot play cricket properly -without practice,” he says ‘for - the many tricks in the bowling part .would- muddle one’s mind ” The moral for cricketers, therefore, is practise or be muddled.” On business matters our voutliful genii are not so sure. “Please, sir,” asked one, “yvliat do you do yvlien you can t get in your cash in hand ?” A himproblem for any but expert, financiers 0 , and perhaps even the Colonial Secretary might find difficulty in advancali° USy dlslpofiin S « f -the surplus In the sphere of politics, our schoolboy, -not -unlike many of his elders is somewhat out of his element- We are informed that if Sir Joseph Ward npvf 1? gu - e up tl , le Premiership the see \£ re^r er WOl,l< } , b .° (methinks I Mr P rlc -king up his ear s ) i r ' Seddon, the late Premier’s sou. ls of fhp opinion that Sir + S Ti"’ °d next-of-kin, would yin 1 1? • r i ems °? Government, Iv anni 3, third gravely and earnest-.-n ? nr, Odnced tbit Lord Plunke-t bo the next Premier .3. * movements of 'the -Minis- - J- 3 !. Rad ways are, perhaps, not nrobVbH y fi -' l r' , i, as thab statesman proLmbh tiiinks they are, for. writes borne l Mr Hali -Jones came to Gisborne and rowed against Webb a month or tyvo ago.” Mr. Rees Jonet should surely feel honored, or is it hoiior'shoidd fall’p stcr 011 the ex,Mrts” lany Tf of +) US c , ouslder ourselves experts. It therefore comes as a surprise to- learn that tho earliest toyvn iiii New Zealand is Gisborne W caiiso it yvas the first place in NewZcahiml at winch Captain Cook landed lho originator of this remarksb l^ te '" e,lt ’i a ! t . llo,, S h somewhat shaky as regards his facts, evidently lias the faculty of reasoning, and the ability to get himself out of a difficult corner, and lie will, no doubt make a name for himself in duo course. uo