Old Grumble on the Hospitality of the Colonies

Feilding Star, Volume X, Issue 41, 13 September 1888, Page 3

Old Grumble on the Hospitality of the Colonies

Founded upon the principles of equality and the rights of man, what a great and glorious empire will, federated Australia, in a few >ears, beP Eh? what? j Mrs Grumble, do you say P— " Don't make it too elaborate !" And, pray, what is your objection P-" Oh ! because it,, will only be wasting our time and en- ■ ergies. as the Chinese are going to inyade asm 1891" Very gentlemanly way of going to wur; that's no taking im arivan- . tage by,, mean surprise ; but don't be alarmed, my dear, Grumble has a scheme for averting such a catastrophe. You don't. ...know his resources. "What is ilP'-^Why, to invade them instead, in 1890, ami so settle their hasfh. | Yes ! beneath the warm Australian ! »un is where liberty flourishes most; and it is there a people are., making an empire.;.- building, it upon the -broad, substantial' base of freedom, and establishing it With the enduring principle of ■ equal rights to all men. It is the enjoy went of those rights, in ali their fulness, which marks the difference betv?een the workman of Australia, infusing into him ' a spirit of independence; teaching him to look upon labor as eunobling, and not . the bad^e of inferiority ; and enabling ; ' him to behold, in his fetfowman. his! equal— nothing more; and the laborer, in vjrreat Britain, where he is deemed the lowest rung in the social ladder, and servility demanded from him by those who affect to be his superiors, and who, I while- they accumulate wealth through the laborer's hand — despise the labor that produces it- forgetful that to be contemptuous is to become contemptible. : But every country has its characteristic, and the two great characteristics of the colonies, and which redound so to their credit are their fraternal disposition and their hospitality, not disciplined into them by a sense of duty, but a natural growth springing up spontaneously ; and Grum 'blej since his abode in this country, has endeavoured to emulate them in those qualities. Yon know, Mrs G., by their hospitality, men have 'erenow entertained angels. VV hat do you say ma-am ?— " It was not an angel who wanted to be entertained by you last ni^ht, whilst I was out." A sundowner perhaps. " Well Grumble, I don't know wuat he was. but he petrified me." Oh, Mrs G., what a pity you did not remain permanently so, as, Mrs Grumble, you are positively of no commercial value ; but as a piece of statuary- what would you not' be worth, outvieing as your beauty would, that of the tinted Venus; but go on. "As I said, I Was petrified, when the man, who had a saucepan in his hand, asked me if I would 'boil his billy' ; for the thought seized me : here is some diabolical wretch who, forced by the extremes of hunger, has kilted his child, and now wants me to cook him; but the thought was discarded as soon as formed, as I remember hear' ing his companion, Whom he left upon the road, call out to him; as he left him ; * Give the old woman a bit of kid.' Then it is a goat they have killed, and want me to cook for them; and, as the ua< pleasant odour of the billy-goat they keep, at the livery stables came to my mind, I sickened to think of what the smell of one cooking must be ; so I isivily toid the man' I had no room at the fire, and that, besides, I disliked the smelt of goats. The man w*ni sulkily away ; and, on joining his companion, being asked by him if I would not boil the billy, he answered n deli berate falsehood; for he said, in reply: 'No, Jack, she 'would'nt. She told me. to go away with my pot ; and she told me that I smelt like in old goat,' Now, Grumble, 1 think you ought to seek, those men out, and viudicUte jour wife's truthfulness." Grumble replies that when he is Don Quixote he Will ; but not whiL; he remains ■ ■■:■:.■ Old Grumble.