Old Grumble on the Bell

Feilding Star, Volume X, Issue 32, 25 August 1888, Page 3

Old Grumble on the Bell

That bell!— ls it that Grumble thinks it beneath him that he does not join with his fellow citizens in writing an essay upon it? Far from it, Mrs Grumble : it is because it is too weighty a substance for Grumble's pen to give iustrce to, under a volume, and that one full of tone that he has forborne. He has, however, sent a concise report of the christening ceremony to the Home papers for publi* cation, which he hopes none of the Bur* gesses of Feilding will see, or it will earn for him their eternal hatred, on account of its barrenness ; Out it rests not be* tween Truth and Fancy. When ehront~ cling actual events, poetry must be shorn of its imagination, and fiction yield to fact. So, in the following, you will ob* serve that Grumble's veracity is unimpeachable: — . " I he stern watchmam of the night now hangs suspended mid way betwixt Heaven end earth, and frowns down in all its consequence upon the city it has asw sumed the guardianship of. More sub* stantial, and more real, than the doughty giants, Gog and Magog, who are said to keep watch and ward over the City of London, the people of Feildinz may snore through the watches of the night in safety — sure that they will be aroused by its sonorous voice when danger portends. A deputation of citizens waited upon Old Grumble to beg his acceptance of the ihonor of christening the bell, by being the fir>t to asc-nd the turret and pull the bell rope. Grumble, with his usual modesty at first declined such a towering dignify, and it was not until he was informed by those gentlemen that it was decided to cull the bell "Old Grum blei" after him, that he consented. . A vast concourse of people had as sembied to witness the ceremony, and loudly cheered t ! eir revered Old Grum* ble when, with the intrepidity of a cha xuois hunter, he planted his fo6t upon the first rung of the ladder. Bound alter round he mounted, with lightness and ea.se- but there were ewuntlejss rungs yet to be ascended ere he reached the bell. The task began to tell upon him; still he toiled upwards manfully, though pain* fully. He grew exhausted. One more round, and he could go no higher. Cliuging now desperately to the slender rail. he gazed upward : there, ninety feet above him, hung t c bell, while just beneath it yawned the aperture through which he must enter. He felt he never could squeeze his bulky form through it. While below!: The. sight turned him sick and dizzj; his brain reeled; his hands relaxed ; his feet slipped ; and he fell. Fell five feet into a blanket spread to receive him. A man now emerged from the crowd, whom they called Teddy, ahrt volunteered to go aloft, and ring the bell, for a"' pot o' beer." This was "tag. nanimous on the part of Teddy, for Teddy used to have a bell of his own, and his offer was considered by the assembled Councillors, who discussed whether the finances of the Borough could stand ; the strain of such expenditure, one Councillor observing, " We have already a large overdraft." Teddy caught the last words, and instantly declared, from personal experience, that a " pot o' beer" was not a large over-draught, bur only a very ordinary one. which, to usi> a legal term, he took merely as a refresher, and that "half a gallon" was not too much to ask for. The bargain was struck, and in a few moments the resonant notes of the bell struck the concave ark of Heareu. «plit it, and brought down a shower. Grumble was in ecstacies : he gazed at the structure from every natural posture the human frame is capable of assuming; then he stood on his bead, and looked at it that Way. His excitement was contagious. The steady going Burgesses began by shaking hands with each other; then the more active began to play " leap frog"; and, one after the other, joined in the game ; and soon, all who* could, were flying over each others' backs round the Square, while the more portly, or sedate, turned somersaults, or made Catherine wheels of themselves. The fun was at its height, when the Pyro technist of the town appeared upon the ground ; and, as the bell was to be dedicated to the fire god, he ascended to the topmost point of the tower in a baloon of his own construction, and there let off a grand display of fireworks, which made a brilliant termination to the ceremony." About the turret being ninety feet high, I own I have stretched it rather ; but I feel quite easy about it, as no one will come out on purpose to measure it. You say, Mrs Grumble, haye I left the Pyrotechnist sitting on the point of the turret? I never thought about that. It was easy enough to get him up there, but how to get the poor devil down again, I don't know. If he can't devise some means himself, why ! he must stop there. It is no business of Grumble's. The ceremony is over, and the bell is chnsU ened. [Old Grumble will regret to hear his namesake has been sent back to his birthplace 10 be " re-organised." — Ed. ■ F ' S -3 ■••■ ■ I