THE POTATO PATCH.

Franklin Times, Volume 9, Issue 669, 20 September 1921, Page 5

THE POTATO PATCH.

Since I last graced (or disgraced) these columns with my spnght y gen, I have been sojourning in the Queen City. Just why it is called the “Queen City,” however, is a thing I have never exactly found rut ” Was it dubbed so in fond remembrance of the homely nau who re-o-necl at the time the town was founded, and whose effigy of bronze, symbolical of embonpoint and Empn.adorns a local paik . r •- * name originate during the Gieat wi period, when carnival “Queens were so much in evidence? I opine, though, that the adjective is not epelt right, and that the phrase should be : “Quean City,” the outhorities defining “Quean” as a saficy girl.” The "flappers frivolling round the picture shows and marble burs o +‘ the great northernopolis give one to think that this indeed must be the derivation. Howbeit, I am back digging the old potato ■ patch again, and I am sure it is no worse for having -lain fallow for a few weeks. Indications are that the season is going to. be a good one for “spuds”-—to give our staple product its good old colonial name, which reminds me that a spue, (without the inverted commsa) is a spade. But spades are called for “spuds” and “spuds” are called potatoes-! So let us calk*a spade, a spade, a spade a “a. spud”—-u “pomme tie tere,” which is Parisian be called, howver, I hope, in the future, to dig many potatoes out of my patch, and to have the privilege of passing them on to you sprinkled with a little attic salt. Talking about the 'angufige and its vagaries recalls a couple of utterances which I saw reported in the Auckland' papers lately, and which I think shows how careful we should be in our usage of words. The Mayor of Takapuna is held responsible for the one—'.the Crown Presecutor perpetrated the other. In referring to the theory that ‘Rangitoto was tne scource of the waters of Lame lupuke, his Worship said (or is reported to have said) that “it was a fact that in one of the caves on Rangitoto, the noise could be heard, .apparently of he Council’s pumps at Takapuna.” Now, if a thing is only apparent how can it be a fact ! lot the word “apparently” is synnomonous (I am almost tempted to say apparehtly synonomous) with “seem|i,ojy” and so used has the direct opposite meaning to “really” which latter word,- of course, is the correct 0,.e to use when referring to a “matter of fact.” What the Mayor really (but net apparently) meant, I suppose, was: (1) .“It is a fact tuat a noise is heard in the cave. (2) lhe noise seems to be that of the pumps.” Now, for my reamed friend ! In addressing the Court on a recent charge he referred to the accused a,nd his associate as “a. trio of indecent beasts,” and even if some mortal, masquerading as a man, does combine the characteristics of the snake and the shark, the swine rind the skunk to such a degree flatteringly terms him “a beast”—is it not rather in the way of a solecism to qualify the term with an adejective which stands for a human, but not a beastly quality?

Coming back to Pukekohe, I notice increased activities. Great schemes are afoot. One society has been formed to beautify the town. Another, mooted, to boost it. I hope tncy

stop here, and don’t form a third to burst it. With • the aims of the Beautifying Society, 1 am in perfect accord.' Let us lose no time and get ivsv. Dot us plant wincheste'ria on the* railway embankments and riemyijel.liquids 'at the back of the goods’ shed." And the pvecinls of the Post Office, Ut us adorn with those exotic Dutch blooms known as squarriv'erroses, and make that more com-

in on acquatic growth called dedmarinii float with the lilies on Hickey’s dam. Then will the wilderness blossom as the rose and the stranger within our gates will see how deep we have drunk of the beauties of Nature.

And yet us boost the town and district by all means. Let us placard the country-side with slogans such as :■ “Go and stay in wee Bombay,”— “Delightful damsels dwell at Drury —“Bonnie babes are built in .Buckland”—“Push your pram, and Pukekohe, “Why shop in the City and lose your money, do it in King Street ’ “Visit our pig-market and live ; climb>>ur Hill and die” —“See the dam and dam the sea.”

With regard to both the boosting and beautifying of Pukekohe, I am sure that the schemes will have a warm supporter in my friend the Mayor. As for the boosting, I am sure he will boost with the best. Being so much of his time in Auckland, he will have a good opportunity of bringing before the northern villagers the advantages of living in cur metropolis. He can dwell on the advantages of dwelling in Pukekohe. The cheapness of building material and the facility -with which labour can be procured ! How boarding and house accommodation can be easily obtained! The cheap rates that the “Times” mentions in its leader ! As we!c as the cheap rents that prevail ! Also the cheap railway fares between Auckland and Pukekohe, and the excellent service provided by the department, especially with regard to morning trains '.to town. Of course, I do not for one moment wish to infer that his Worship is in any way responsible for these things. The credit, if any, may lay at the door of his sponsor—our very representative and active Chamber, of Commerce. Coming to the province purely Mayoral, however, he could exputiate upon the good water supply also mentioned by the '‘Times,” and show that there are great opportunities in the Borough for Dairymen. He could also declaim our most excellent and reliable electric supply, and finish an eloquent discourse by showing thafc since he Has taken office not.only every prospect in Pukekohe pleases, but that man therein has ceased to be vile, and that the only “graft” that now exists in the Borough is that which is conducive to the bending of the back and the sweat of the brow.

With regard to the amenities, I quote his Worship, as reported in the “Times” : “The present is a time oi town-planning. We owe a duty to those who have gone and. to those to come. He maintained the road snoult. <ret right through,”' Hear ! Hear . That’s -the way to talk. Mr Routly apparently felt the united and seveial pulses' of the Councillors long before the solicitor he refers tofethis. And having done so, he was in a position to tell the lawyer cliqp “(hat the Council required the road right through.” What boots it that a vig;.gent father of the town, always dis sentient, ejaculates that the Mayor is. not “.the whole works.” His Worship can frown him down and say : “It matters not how straight die talk, ■

talk How. charged with censure of the

lam P the Rooster of the Walk I am the captain of the ship.”

“CORNELIUS.”