Page 3 Advertisements Column 2

Daily Telegraph (Napier), 20 July 1883, Page 3

fish in the stream, and then kicked because there were no trout, and the owner found tho trout were .stolon, and laid it to some Dutch boys. I wondered, when thoso men wero tolling their experience, if they ever thought of it now when they were preaching and praying - , and taking tip collections. I should think they wouldn't say a boy was going to hell right off 'cause he was a little wild now days, when he has such an example. Well, lately, somebody has been burgling our chicken coup, and pa loudcd an old musket with rock salt, and said he would fill the fellow full of salt if he caught him, and while they were talking up stairs ma heard a rooster squawk, and she went to the stairway and told pa there was somebody in the hen house I a jumped up and told the viators to follow him, and they would see a man running down the alley, full of salt, and he rushed out with tho g'im, and the crowd followed him. Fa- is shorter then tho rest, and he passed under the first fire clothes in the yard all right, and was going for the henhouse on a jump, when his neck caught the second wire clothes-line just as the minister and two of the deacon's caught their necks under the other wire. You know how a wire, hitting a man on the throat, will set him back, head over appetite. Well, sir, I was looking out tho back window, and I wouldn't be positive, but I think they all turned double back summersaults, and struck on his ears. Anyway, pa did, and the gun must have been cocked, or it struck the hammer on a stone, for it went off, and it was pointed toward the house, and three of the visitors got salted. Tho minister was hit the worst, one piece of salt taking him in the hind leg, and the other in the back, and he yelled as though it was dynamite. I Hupposo when you shoot a man with salt, it smarts, like when you get corned beef brine on your chapped hands. They all yelled, and pa seemed to have boon knocked silly, some way, for he pranced around and seemed to think that he had killed them. He swore at tho wire clothes line, and then I missed pa and heard a splash like when you throw a cat in the river, and then I thought of the cistern, and I went down and we took pa by tho collnr and pulled him out. 0, he was awful damp. No, sir, it was no duel at all, but a naxident. and I didn't have anything to do with it. The gun wasn't loaded to kill, and the salt only went through the skin, but those men did yell. May be it was my chum that stirred up tho chickens, but I don't know. He has not commenced to lead a different life yet, and ho might think it would make our folks sick if nothing: occurred to make them pny attention. I think where a family has been having a good deal of exercise, tho way ours has, it hurts them to break off too suddenly. But tho visitors went home, real quick* after we got pa out of tho cistern, and the minister told ma he always felt when he was in our house,_ as though he was on the verge of a yawning crater, ready to bo engulfed any minute, and he guessed he wouldn't come any more. Fa changed his clothes and told ma to have them wire clothes lines changed for rope ones. I think it is hard to suit pa, don't your" "0, your pa is all right. What he needs is rest. But why are you not working at the livery stable You'haven't been discharged, have you!-" And the grocery man laid a little lump of concentrated lye, that looked like maple sugar, on a cake of sugar that had been broken, knowing the boy would nibble it. "No, sir, I was not discharged, but when a livery man lends me a kicking horse to take my girl out riding, that settles it. _ I asked the boss if I couldn't have a quiet horse that would drive hisself if I wound the lines around the whip, and ho let mo Have ono ho said would go all day without driving. You know how it is, when a fellow takes a girl out riding he don't want his mind occupied holding lines. Well, I got my girl in, and we went out on the Whitefish Buy road, and it was just before dark, and we rode along under the trees, and .£ wound the lines around the whip, and put one arm around my girl, and patted her under the chin with my other hand, and her mouth looked so good, and her blue eyes looked up at me and twinkled us much as to dare me to kiss her, and I was all of a tremble, and then my hand wandered around by her car and I drew her head up to me and gave her a smack. Say, that was no kind of a horse to give to a young fellow to take a girl out riding. Just as I smached her I felt as though the buggy had been struck with a pile driver, and when I looked at the horse ho Avas running awny and kicking the buggy, and the lines wore dragging on the ground. I was scared, I tell you. I wanted to jump out but my girl threw her arms around my neck and screamed, ;md I said we would die together, and just as we wero going to die the buggy struck a fence and the horse broke loose and went off, leaving us in tho buggy, tumbled down by tho dash board, but wo wero not hurt. The old horse stopped and went to chewing , grass and he looked up at me as though he wanted to say 'philopene.' I tried to catch him, but he wouldn't catch, and then avo waited till dark and walked home, and I told tlie livery man -what I thought of such treatment, and he snirl if I had attended to my driving, and not kissed the girl, I would have been* all right. He said I ought to have told him I wanted a horse that wouldn't shy at kissing, but how did I know I was going to get up courage to kiss her. A >. livery man ought to take it for granted that when a young fellow goes out Avith a girl he is going to kiss her, and give him ahorse according. But I quit him at once. I won't work for a man that hasn't got sense. Gosh ! What kind of maple sugar is that ? Jerusalem, whew, give me some water. 0, my, it is taking tho skin off my mouth." 'The grocerynian got him sonic water and seemed sorry that the boy had taken tho lump of concentrated lye by mistake, and when the boy wont out the grocery man pounded his hands on his knees and laughed, and presently he wont out in front of the store and found a sign—" Fresli Letts, been picked more'n a week, l.uj)'cr''n tripe.' .

ICdmcaiionnl. NAPIER GIRLS' HIGH SCHOOL. rrVEIFj GoA'ernors require the services of a JL Lady Principal or of a Head master (married). Salary at the rate of £300 a-year, Avith dwelling and boarders' fees. The person chosen Avill be required to teach English, Latin, French, mid Mathematics, and to take charge of the boarding , establishment. Also—A Second Mistress, qualified to take the elementary Avork in the same branches. Salary, £120 Avith board. Applications for the appointment will be received by the undersigned on or before the 30th of September, 1883. The School Avill open on tho 28th January, 1881. Applicants should state full particulars as to age, qualifications, and experience, and should furnish testimonials and references. DAVID SIDEY, Hon. Sec. to Governors. Napier, New Zealand. I'ailhlacaiioiis. SOCIETY FOR PROMOTING CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE. A DEPOT of this Society is iioav open at Mr. T. B. Hardiug's, Hastings-street, There are on sale a selection of Prayer Books of all sizes and bindings, and also some choice Books of Religious and General interest, among which are the folloAving: — Commentary on Old and New Testaments (7 vols.); Wice's Boyle Lectures; Bible Places; Harmony of the Four Gospels; Moral Teaching of the New Testament; Life of Bishop Pu Meson ; Christian Evidence Series ; Life Underground ; Story of the Creation, &c. These Books are all at very moderate Prices. THE "MERCANTILE AND BANKRUPTCY GAZETTE" OF NEW ZEALAND. rpi-IE only "Gazette" published in the X Colony, and giA'ing the fullest particulars of Bankruptcy and Mercantile matters, and containing weekly information of all Bills of Sale, Mortgages of Stock, Liens on Wool, Liens on crops, Affidavits of Satisfaction, Bailments, Share Reports, etc., and with which is iioav incorporated "The N.Z. Trade Protection Society's Private List of Bills of Sale, etc., the entire right, title, and interest therein having been purchased from Mr Samuel Carroll, of Wellington. Annual subscription, £3 3s, payable in advance. Half-year index published in January and July each year. Agent for Napier, C. L. Makgoliouth, Emerson-stroet, Nnpior. Head office, Duncdiu. R. T. Wheeler, Advertising Agency, Stafford-street.