VILLAGE PUZZLE.

Dominion, Volume 7, Issue 1923, 4 December 1913, Page 3

VILLAGE PUZZLE.

MR. BEITS, THE HAM, AND THE BRISTLE. An atmosphere of scientific spcculation reigns at tho usually quiet village of Worplesdon, near Guildford. A month ago the rustic councils of the vil->' lago wore concerned only with such topics as the countryside usually considers —tho weather, the state of tho crops, the defenceless mangold, or the. price of beer. Now an evening in tho village hostelry might justly be mistaken for a meeting of tho Royal Society and a colloquy between, two labourers for a debate between two Sherardian professors. •Tho cause of this transformation is Mr. James Belts, gardener to Colonel Lee, of tho Mount, Worplesdon. Mr. Betts, finding his garden infested with rats, baited a. Jrap with boiled ham. The next morning when Mr. Betts aroso he gaped in astonishment to find that the boiled ham "had sprouted black bristles, six inches long." Tho spirit of scientific inquiry' was aroused .in. Mr. Betts's breast. Again ho boiled ham, again he baited' a trap, and again bristles were growing—but this timo "they were white." . . .- ; In a few days all Worplesdon was discussing the phenomenon—and not merely Worplesdon, but experts to whom samples'of tho soft so-called hair was sent. "Fungus mycelium" suggested one authority,'but'Worplesdon will-have none of this. "Fungus mycelium" leaves unexplained 0110 phenomenon— tho variation in colour, and this is 'solved by Mr. Betts. "One ham was from a white pig and grows wliito hair. The other is from a black pig and grows black hair." -The explanation is terse, lucid, and ; convincing. This scientific discovery leads to another of inestimablo value. "The infallible hair restorer," says Mr. Betts, who is decidedly a "character," "is here indicated. Boiled ham for bald heads."

The growths were subsequently examined by a London doctor, who . pronounced them as being "very like hair." This confirmation of the village view has given enormous satisfaction in .Worplesdon, and has set the seal of authority on Mr. Betts's renown. For in Worplesdon Mr. Betts is.the final court of appeal on most subjects, ranging from hot-any to cabinet-making and politics. Phrenology, however, is Mr. Betts's pet diversion, and in Worplesdon no man's character is properly established until his bumps liavo been read and approved by Mr. Betts.