THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 10, Issue 49, 13 November 1946, Page 8

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

General Long was six feet fair, Solomon Short was five feet three, Old Solly was a jolly miller, His eyes twinkled merrily, As to the General, he said: “Your feet are too far from your head.” The jovial General would reply: “Your bright for such dull weather, But your head and feet, my trusty friend, Are far to close together!” Old Fred, the village joiner, When the day’s work was done, Was wont to patronise the beer, At the sign of the rising sun. One morn the Sexton tolled the bell, That tolled that General Long was dead, And Solomon Short as well! Fred the joiner said it was no joke, To dress the 'solid British oak, The General’s coffin to prepare, So to the pub he did repair, To quench a very urgent thirst. The landlord said: “Have you heard

the worst? Poor old Solly Short is dead!” “Your news,” retorted Fred, “is

wrong, Not Solly Short, but General Long.” And so with each ensuing pint, Fred stubbornly argued the point, Breathing alcohically and deep, Until finally he went to sleep, Just as his irate boss appeared, And said: “That is just what I fear-

■ ed.»’ The landlord said: “That’s just like Fred, He certainly is down and out, Hold your ’osses for a while, And I’ll tell you how r it came about. I said that Solly Short was dead, Fred said t’was General Long, We both were right, but both of us, Thought each other wrong. We both have put you out a bit, But that’s the Long and Short of it!” H. SERGANT.