BEAUTY AND THE BEASTS

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 92, 21 July 1944, Page 5

BEAUTY AND THE BEASTS

PLAYBOYS v PIN-UP GIRLS

'ANDSOME SAMSON REPS

"A tisket, a tasket, We'll wipe you up in basketball)":—

Such is the warcry of the now renowned 'Andsome Samsons; a warcry destined to .shake the very foundations of the opposing nmyphs and strike terror and horror into the hearts of all who intend gathering at the Domain next Saturday to view the basketball match between the girls and the Whakatane Businessmen, labelled in vicious circles as the 'Andsome Samsons.

Following the example of Winstone Churchill, and his now world famous "D Day," the 22nd lias been reclassified as "B Day," referred to discreetly in Hilly-Bil-ly and 'Amlsomc-Samson circles as "That'll be the B day."

Representative 'Andsome Samsons, selected for their beef and beauty have been drafted into two sections or teams, after the style of the Martins and the Coys, and we take pleasure in presenting herewith, a summary of the players form(s). The Martins Foremost among the Martins we find that monarch of field and ring, Allan Bridger. Always an opportunist he will naturally grasp every opportunity that comes his way. During practice games, we understand he has been practising balancing on one foot in order to increase his height.. This is known as a trial balance. That veteran of the sporting world Bill Henderson will also be prominent on the field. Once in possession he intends using "bulldozer" tactics. Stewart Pyne will also be there. We understand he has been 'pyriing' for a game of basketball for months. He is to accompany the warcry of the others on. the saxophone.

Foremost among the defence crowd is Wallie Whittaker (the 'We've got it t , we can get it or it's not made; of rubber' chap). Having rubbery tactics he will probably try to stretch the rules a bit. He has very kindly offered to retread any face which becomes soiled or damaged as a result of this.

Henry Dainton will be as safe as a bank. We trust he, will strike a 'telling' blow occasionally.

Charlie Armstrpng is another defence. We understand he organised the match in order to boost the sales of 'Basketball from A to Z.' He has since bought a dozen copies himself but is none the wiser.

Playing goal we have Rex Morpeth, rag dealer (he is still a little ragged) and Lambert Roach, a Samson of the first water. Allan Fisher (tall, dark and then-some) is also in the group. Reports state that he has been assiduously skipping his way to health and beauty. He should make quite, an effective skipper.

The Coys The Coys are a somewhat different proposition.

At centre we find Thos (pronounced as spelt) Harland. Following the example set. by 'Two-Ton" Tony Galento, world famous American barman-boxer who trained on beer, Thos is training on ginger ale. Tony was knocked flat in the first ten seconds. Let us hope that such will not be Thos's fate. We understand the last practice game left him with a permanent limp. Solitude, however, apparently agrees with him. It has been noticed that when he is alone his limp suddenly ceases., Most extraordinary.

Other 'Antlsomes at centre are Bill McKenzie (of Hilly Billy fame) and Jim Wilson who will find the PirvUps very hard to pin down.

Lloyd Rosenfeklt is a natural defence. His 'winning' ways should no doubt go a long way towards placing final victory in the hands of the 'Andsome Samsons. He has not yet had the thrill of touching the ball while it is in play, but this (we hope) is a pleasure in store.

Jack Whitehead, we understand, advocates the discreet use of football boots as the best, means of (self) defence. '

C. Kingsley-Smith will be a guiding Beacon. Although he is complaining that he was 'pressed' into the team, now that he is in he will have to Bea-content. Being the Scout Commissioner he is apt to regard the opposition as a bunch of tenderfoots (or is it tenderfeet) and consequently intends tying them up in knots after the approved fashion. During the interval, we, understand, he is to give an exhibition of how to light a fire by rubbing two stick? together. In our opinion this falls in the same category as the Indian Rope Trick.

'Toby' Darvill is (com)positively terrific. He intends walkiing all over any opposition put up. If he succeeds in doing this he should be congratulated on his walking feet; (pardon, we mean 'feat'). The goalies are a tough crowd. They consist of Fred Abbott (he Is convinced that the ball must be too big to go through the, hoop provided), Tom Johnston (another expon-

ent of the banking trade) and Jerry Dixon (Samson personified). The only complaint is that a Gremlin moves the hoop every time they go to pet a goal.

Word has. just been received thai a group of match manufacturers have offered to Kingslcy-Smith a substantial bribe if he will call off his exhibition of fire-lighting by friction. Pressman and Boy Scout principledfailed to condone the idea. The* word 'bribe' has since been change ed to 'donation' and the accepted. As a result this mystical performance will riot now be exhibited. • Confidence in Victory And so we see laid before us, a» review of basketballers, veritable! City Giants, all of theni, such ass Whakataneans have never before had the honour of jeering. The teams, ■ after many iry-outs and have finally been selected, and.-Skt--urday should give, the public a ?hance to witufcss a good display of what has been advertised as basket* ball. *