MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 601, 13 December 1871, Page 2

MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Did Dick go to the fires ? Of course he did, the young scamp, and a pretty mess he made of it at the last one. He must needs go prying and poking into every hole and corner trying to elucidate the mystery as to the origin of the fire, climbing over burning embers, red-hot iron, broken fences, and other debris, until at last a splash was heard, and my Dick was nowhere to be seen, until he was dragged out of a great holo on the premises of Mr Blood. Some structure over it had been destroyed, and nothing remaining to mark the spot poor Dick fell in. Neighbour Xarr was tho only one who lent a helping hand to my unluckyprogeny ; not a soul would go near him. Dick sought consolation in a glass of P B from the Bricklayer's Arms, but mine host refused him admission ; so home he came, looking such a picture of woo. He told me ho had begged the firemen to play the hose to him, but Superintendent Gad refused to spare tho water to such a scapegrace, and said " it was only Dick," and would teach him a lesson to mind his own business in future, Tho worst of it was my olfactory nerves are so tender I could render him no assistance, and as the night was far advanced and Dick, I am sorry to say, had by tho time he reached home indulged in frequent libations, although he refused to divulge where he procured them. There was no help for it but for Dick to sleep with the goat, but even her goatship refused to share her diminutive dwelling with him and left him sole possessor. Next morniug Dick was engaged washing his clothes. I had only suit bought him a now suit at Coombes to go to tho Athletic Sports in. It was "no misfit" and no mistake, and I am sure they are spoilt, but Dick says it don't matter; he means to get a new rig out when he gets the £1000 reward, and a bran new bell-toppor. He says he has made a discovery which will lead to the apprehension of the miscreant who set fire to the Choral Hall. He tells me on the quiet that he has found that among the rags, &c , soaked in kerosine left at the doors of the building was an Evening Stab, and before many hours he will have the ruffian in safe custody. This is his clue, but I do not believe that a reader of the Stab would be guilty of such an oatrage; perhaps he had bought it to see if his name was down amongst the list of drunkards the last time he was locked up. Bat let Dick alone, he is a sharp chap only, I wish he would keep proper hours and keep out of people's cesspools. His hours now are fully occupied what with this matter, and the training of a kangaroo that ho picked up last week at Newmarket. The beast is getting quite a nuisance, as Dick has taught him to leap upon hia father's head while at breakfast. I wish he would try and find but the owner of the animal, and return it like an honest youth, but Dick says "finding's having," and keeps the brute in his bedroom.

Sraro " Polly Plum," henceforth, owing to your ingenious idea, the debtors are to be kept separate from a felon's gaol, and have a building to themselrea. What shall it be called?" I would suggest, "Molloy's Hotel." How beautifully cool they will feel in the vaults and cellars beneath the Supreme Court, —glorious idea. How thankful they ought to feel for the thought, and then think; of a racket court behind for their amusement- How fine, too, of a warm summer's afternoon to be able to sit in the yard and listen to the debates, in council, to hear Landon's denounciations: ; and Willy Swanson's elocution. They will then be able to lower a basket over their prison wall as mem-, bers go to Council and wail "please to pity tne poor debtors" as was done by their unfortunate fathers of old at the Fleet prison. And then the games of racket they will be able to play, without interfering with the good order and discipline of the gaol. The window of the Judge's Chamber must be protected by wire gauze, however, or we shall have his Lordship's nose assailed by a tennis ball, whilst listening to an application to hold to bail, or disposing of an intemprance case. When...the vaults., of the Supreme Court are set apart for debtors with a recreation ground behind, no longer will the insolvent trader avoid the service of that piece of paper, which is a copy of a parchment commencing with " Victoria by tne grace of God," or the concomitant issue of the " capias ad satisfaciendum," followed by the bewildering tap of the Sheriff's officer. No; all will be looked upon in the light, a pleasant sojourn, an amusing pastime, away from the care and toils of this dreary world, and an association with " happy go lucky fellows," who can make them deeper. adepts in the art of borrowing money and raising tho wind, than they are | at present aware of. Eeally, we must have a. debtor's prison within easy access of the town, where our friends can slip in and pass, a pleasant hour without dragging , up to Mount Eden, and must not forget , that this is " Polly Plum,V' idea. ;