The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 121, Issue 20284, 28 August 1937, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

IT Is stated that If the war Is confined to the Far East the effect on the London Stock Exchange should be “ bullish ’’ rather- than “ bearish.” Maybe, but the relations between the contending parties so far have been distinctly cattish. I think that place Woosung should be spelt Woe-sung. • • • • Nobody is learning shearing, according to Mr H. M. Christie, M.P. Surely he has referred the matter by this time to Mr Nash? The lambing season Is going ahead and the shearing season will commence when they bring down the next Budget. That reported dlsoovery of “ shivering earth ” in Taranaki may be due to the fact that the province did not return a single Government member. 0 0 0 0 There Is an organisation In the Fatherland for “ fostering Germanism abroad." Well, as long as they don’t want us to speak the language I’m neutral. • • • • My next work of fiction will commenoe: “ lOnce upon a time there was In New Zealand a county council that firmly believed In amalgamation." • • • • To me. there Is something funny about more taxation to Improve national health. Lighter taxation might be the best national health insurance scheme the Government could devise. • • • • Please take notice: Next Saturday afternoon I will be so unwell that I shall be unable to go out anywhere. I wouldn’t go out even to Inspect the champion bed of aspidistras. • • m « They are searching for a lost lake on the West Coast. Judging by my investigations while down there, I should not 'be surprised if some chap had drunk it in a moment of absent-mindedness. The Auckland Harbour Board, I learn, has adopted a new time system. Midday is now 1200 hours and midnight 2400 hours. That’s all right, but could we get paid on an hourly basis? I’d work for a week without stopping and then retire for life. • • • « WAR NEWB—I937 BTYLE. Monday:,The Japanese claim they bombed three Chinese arsenals near Bung Lung and 6hot down 20 Chinese planes at Up Hi. Tuesday: The Chinese deny this and affirm that they sunk two Japanese battleships and captured 2000 prisoners. Wednesday: The Japanese describe this as absurd and report that four Chinese divisions have been wiped out on the Ml-shirt Front, while 500 bombs were dropped on Wai Oh Wal. Thursday: These claims are strenuously denied by the Chinese, who allege that General Hokl Pokl, Japanese Commander-in-Chief. was bumped off by a Chinese sniper. And so on—until the League of Nations, with commendable despatch, reconciles the opposing parties. Yes, pinch mp, someone.

Comment and Criticism

(By “Free Lance.”)

Mr Parry affirms that the Government li determined to make us a fitter nation. Fit ter for what the shock of the next Budget'. I see now they have an Iron lung In Auckland. There is a pair of them. In a cot. In our next-door house about 3 a.m. nightly. • • • • The Whakatane County Council Is opposed to county amalgamation “to the laet ditch,” states a report. And to the last patch of ragwort, I presume. • • • • Mr K. J. Holvoake, M.P.. say* if returned the National Party will reduce taxation AND ABOLISH IT —where possible. It is really not fair to make our mouths water like that- • • • • I expect the next big Government function will be the presentation of an Illuminated address and a pension to the chap in the P. and T. who Invented ohaln letters. • • • • They are going to raise the cable-esr fares in Dunedin. Ah weel, the war-r-r-m weather-r-r Is still some way off. and a walk does ye guid, ye ken. • • • • Of oourse, I am not suggesting that there was any direct oonneotion, but did you notice that the Dominion experienced a warm antl-eyclone about the time that two members of the Ministry returned? • • • • And again it may only have been a coincidence, but as soon as the new; -,ot through that the Japanese had ooetiplcU a British brewery at Shanghai, the British Ministers hurried back to London. • • • • Sympathy with the domestic difficulties of farmers' wives was expressed down South by Mr Sullivan. However, as a farmer’s wife said: “Mr Sullivan has probably never tried to milk a cow with a bahv in one hand and a washing-board in the other.” “ The policy of the Socialist Government 19 to spoon-feed the worker on the one hand and to paralyse his self-reliance on the other; to the farmer and business man they offer with one hand a visionary Utopia, while they carry In the other the degrading fetters of State control.’*—The Hon. J. O. Cobbe, M.P. Well, that’s not a bad day's work with four hands. Must be a half-brother to the Financial Octopus. • • • • ANOTHER RECORD “ The Government has thousands of millions at Its disposal.”—Mr O. Wilson. Labour M.P., Ranpltlkel. Once they hear the startling news All the nations will declare That New Zealand has the world’s Greatest super-millionaire Its Financial Minister, The efficient Mr Nasn. Ormond Wilson M.P. says Has command of ready cash To value astronomical Many thousands or millionWhy not use a letter more And make the total trillion- .* This eclipses everything Rockefeller, Mo r gan. all By comparison, or course. They kept Just a little stall. It calls up a vista and In the distance we discern Major Duuglas losing ground Leagues, and leagues and leagues astern.