The Passing Show.

Waikato Times, Volume 119, Issue 19893, 23 May 1936, Page 17 (Supplement)

The Passing Show.

Comment and Criticism.

(By “Free Lance.")

HEY are going to have a Constitution : in Russia, with secret ballots and 3'; all that sort, or thing. It I were a reporter in Russia I should resign. It must be heartbreaking to report Russian in shorthand. I have been reading a book about Stalin. I suppose assumed names will not be allowed on the ballot paper so he goes down as Yosit Visarionovitch Dzhugas—hvili. Now Just imagine being chairman at his meeting and having pleasure in introducing a name like that to the audience. Other candidates will include Lazar .\loiseyVitt'h Kaganovitch and his partner for a Moscow seat may be one Odl'zhonikidze or Kelmenti Diremovich Voros-hilov. As for the women who will seek to enter public life there will be Klavdiya Ivanovna Nikolaeva and Pauline Semyonova Zhemchuzhua. Now; these are not what Mark Twain called alphabetical processions. They are the names of leaders in Russia, so rather than vote I shall resign my commission as a Communicationist. ‘ It i i If Mr Savage is going to bring the cost or living down then the altitude record is about to be broken. - . . I have a farmer friend who has named his pup Guaranteed Price became he doesn't know exactly what that dog is. t t O 0 Mr J. H. Thomas is reported to have refused £20,000 for his life story. After that, I have decided not to enter the market, . . . “My work will be recognised when I am dead and gone," mourns a misunderstood artist. “'8“, he‘ll be safe then. O I O 0 Among the optimists were those \vornen who had the washing out on the line as usual on Monday morning and hoped that the fog would soon vanish. O t O I am unable to confirm the rumour that American millionaires are forming a union to protect themselves against competition in New Zealand. 0 I r O Hitler‘s birthday might have been celebrated with a display of tanks but personally I should have preferred a display 01’ tankards. In re the hagpipe. It is the only instrument classified as a weapon of war, I! you blow a bassoon in the battalion band and get captured the enemy will treat you as a non—combatant, but if Man are a piper then expect the worst. IF it: ‘3 Bagpipes have been held to be injurious to public health. It is understood, however, that. as man} members of Cabinet are of Scottish ancestry the opening of clinics providing free treatment for sufferers is unlikely.

“What is the most useful labour-saving device for a house," I was asked lest. ween From experience I have no hesitation in sup--plying the answer—a linsband. ‘ . . . Critics of the Gm’ernmeni. have voiced disapproval of \\'iiai ihcy term "printing press money." The safer way. of course. (see business conditions 1929-35) is to an without the darned sluil. _ - - . v This week's really bright par rm thd‘ mails: .\ Scotsman in Edinburgh received a (civizi'am from his broihcr in Aberdeen as ffllln\\s:— "Bl'uiM‘: hurl erect motor-car anniysll huri ini'vrtinus dead." lie had no difficult). in transcribing it It foilousz—“Bruro is hurl. He wrecked motor-car. .\nd Alice is hurt. In fact. she is dead." -‘ O 0 O 0 THE MOVEMENT. If you're feeling cold and blue. And you don't know what to do, Just roll along in force .\nd form 9 union. it pay is low and rare. Just be a millionaire. Sign on the dotted line And Join a union. \\'hen bosses get annoyed. Saying “We'll be unemployed: Don't worry. run along And Join a mum. if prices lend to the Proms don't malenalise, There‘s one thing you can do. Form a union. Alter all is said and done. And Savage says "\\'e’ve “on." {Mn and only then, Disband the union. PM“). 0 C O O RUBAIYA‘I' OF A MINISTER OF LABOUR. Strange is it no: of all the statesme\i who Before me did the ruling power pursue. None though: about my Simple :‘imon Diln. To bind the people to me as with glue. ‘ Alone 1 am the Man who loud declares, .-\ll working men must live as millionaires, will: crowds of slaves at every hock anicali. And Luxury thrust on them umwarcs. No as care I for even hostile double, So that 1 gain enthusiastic shouts From those who long for increment unearned. The mob whose slogan is “ Sununat-I'or-nowu.‘ For future ages mus l wrih my name On the imperlsnahle scroll oi’ Fame. Heroes, warriors. nrnnneis, demisods Are, after me. holh pmfluess and lame Search as you will the family tree or man, The records of all ancient axes scan. You’ll never “ml 3 man [,O malth with me, The creams: mortal since [he world began. —Kookahurra.