TOMMY ATKINS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 2552, 17 November 1888, Page 2 (Supplement)

TOMMY ATKINS.

" Tommy Atkins is very much changed from what lit; used to he." said 'the Major—in "Notes by the Way "in the Times of India—as ho lit a fresh "Tricliy." "He is more sensible, takes more care of himself, and doesn't squander his money in the foolish manner he did in the old days. I remember in my old regiment a lot of men re-engaging, and eacli man getting a bounty of one hundred and thirty rupees. It seemed to be a matter of honour with them how to get rid of the money as quickly as possible ; and the correct thing appeared to be to buy as much liquor as they could. I remember one man buying a easy of Bxshaw containing a dozen bottles. He opened the case and helped himself freely to the contents of one'bottle, after which he took the remaining eleven out of the case, and stowed them about his

person to carry off with him. He put two or three inside his coat, stuffed his pockets, crammed one under each arm and carried the remainder in his hands. As might have been expected, he had not

gone many steps before one of the bottles fell with a crash, aud all the precious liquor spilt in the road ; whereupon Tommy sat himself down by the roadside and putting the surviving ten bottles in a row in front of him, he harangued them with tipsy gravity. ' One of you is broke,' he said; 'and do you suppose that I should care if you was all broke ? Do you think I can't afford to buy as many more of you as I want? If you do so, yon make a very great mistake.' And, with this exordium, he took up the ten bottles, one after the other, smashed them on a big stone that lay handy, and went back and bought another dozen case. There was another ot the bounty men who, having bought his case of Exshaw, was seen carefully conveying it to a well close to the barracks, A sergeant, seeing him approach the well, and being apprehensive that he might bo going to throw himself in, crept up after him, aud got close to him without being perceived. But Tommy had no intention of drowning himself. He had come to the well for quite another purpose. He opened his case of Exshaw, and, taking out a bottle, broke the neck of it, and poured the brandy into the well, saying with tipsy satisfaction as he did so, ' No. 8 compauy is all teetotalers, is they ? Aud this here well is No. S company's well is it? Very good then. I'll take good care every bloomiu' teetotaler in the company drinks something a little stronger than water tonight.' And, so saying, he emptied the contents of all twelve bottles in No. 8 company well, and then staggered off to get another supply for himself, happy in the reflection of the trick he had played on the teetotalers "