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Waikato Times, Volume XXX, Issue 2466, 1 May 1888, Page 2

At one of the Liverpool pantomimes the other night, two ladies living at a distance having to take a train at an early hour, were obliged to leave the theatre before the representation was finished. Selecting, as they thought, a quiet interlude, they were passing out of the stalls, when an actor suddenly appeared on the stage and, repeating a part of his role, exclaimed, "There they tjo. The only two women I ever loved, One I couldn't have, and the other I can't get." Imagine the amusement of the audience, and the astonishment of the young ladies. Pum.io celebrities worried by admirers for autographs and locks of hair may take a hint from General Sherman, the American statesman, who has just declined to be one of the next Presidential candidates. He has printed a public statement as follows :—" It is impossible for me to comply with all the requests for autographs ; and I cannot send any more locks of hair, because I have discharged my secretary, whose hair had entirely disappeared under constant application of the scissors. The orderly who now berves me is completely bald."' I'kiu.ioz wroti : "Oh, that J could find her, the .luliet, the Ophelia whom my heart calls to, that I could drink in the intoxication of mingled joy and sadness which only tine love knows ! Could I but rest in her arms one autumn evening, rocked by the north wind on some wild heath, and sleeping my last sad sleep." He found and married his divinity and, in a few years, arranged an amicable separation from her, and left her to die in mise/y and solitude. A CmriuAi. Tramp.— Tramp ; "Did you make this bread yourself, madam ? " Woman : " Yes ; an' if I do say it myself, you've eat wnss bread than that." Tramp : " I know I have ; but not much worse."