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Waikato Times, Volume XXX, Issue 2444, 10 March 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

Ha : "But supposing your papa tries to kick me down the stoop?" She : "I'll lend you my old bustle, dear, and 3'ou will not feel the insult."

WlFti : Th.it man has been staring at me for fivo minutes !" Husband • "Well, you wouldn't have known it if you hadn't kept your eye 3 on him."

My dear fellow, delighted to meet you. Just the very man I wanted to see. I wish you would kindly lend me twenty dollars. I unfortunately left my money at home and I haven't a cent on me." "I'm awfully sorry, old uhap' but I havn't that amount about me just now. I can fix it though so thatyou canget it immediatly." "Ten thousand thanks, dear boy." " Here's ten cents. Take the street car and go homo and get your money."—New York Truth.

It is a Scotsman who tells the following at the expense of the Scottish settlers in Australia :— ■' Near fc"t uvell or Pleasant Creek one of those mining towns, in a small Scottish community, which some years ago were very exclusive, an Irishman, it is said cams one day to settle in this place, and next morninga deputation of indignant Scots waited on him, demanding he should put ' Mac' to his name or leave the district, he chose the former alternative, and was ever afterwards known as MacFlaherty. '

Tub other day a worthy farmer in England caught a rat and having poured some paraffin oil over the animal, he set fire to it and then let it go, thinking that the sight of the burning rat would scare all the rest of the rats from the premises. The rat immediately ran into a haystack containing the produce of a 7-acre field. The stack at once caught fire and was burned before the eyes of the astonished farmer, who could do nothing to prevent the mischief that his thoughtless act had caused.

M. Mur.mkix, in Lα France, in referring, to t.hu prize fight, heads his article "Brutes. ,, After giving a list of the company, he says:—"All these English lords are mere brutes. They travelled the Ohtniiel en masse in order to attend a boxing- match between two other ruffians of tV'ir species, the men Jacques Smith and Kilrain. . . This combat was characterised by an atrocious brutality. In the fifth round (reprise) Kilrain wis blinded ; nevertheless, the champions were able to continue for two hours and a half. There were 106 rounds and no result. The stakes have been drawn. The two wretches have pounded each other for nothing. * * * No one killed ! It would have been sweet to that UipKo two clowns had killed each othsr. Wo should not have any objeution to Uoxing matches butwecu Englishmen in France if it were understood befiivebniifl thnr. th* ohnmpiotm wern not U> twpuratd without etaying oue unolhei.