Fun. Extracts from Eminent Authors. by Puck's Professional Poet.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2060, 19 September 1885, Page 6 (Supplement)

Fun. Extracts from Eminent Authors. by Puck's Professional Poet.

Bbet Haste. The harvest moon above the hill was drifting, The pines sang Boft and low, While Bowie Mike a glass of ram was lifting, With features all aglow. Upon the bar-room floor bat lately landed, Quicker than a pistol-flash, Shouted old JTaro Bill, the Soarlet-Handed ; "Lst's have a liver gash I " And on the spot the pistola were a-popping, Amid the dust and roar And noise of mortals vigorously hopping For that same bar-room door. And when the smoke oat of the plaoe had lifted, They lay there side by side ; For Faro Bill and Bowie Mike had drifted Over the Long Divide.

ALtfftED TENNYSON. Ab up Broadway at night we wen! And saw the gushing dears, Into a place we both did fly, At break-neok pace— you ask ffi« why? To get a brace o! beers. An/I when we saw the drink-mix er We had not seen lor years, Bight there above the shining bar, Oh there above the shining bar, Again we had two beers.

" A scientific Frenchman Bays he has diYcovered a new process for making artifioial brains," said Mrs. Wiggleiwortb, looking up from the paper she was reading. " Artificial brains I " sniffed Mr. Wigglesworth, scornfully; "that's just like those nonsensical Frenchmen, always tooling away their time making something artificial. What I want is real brains— none of your make-belioTe non> sense." Mrs. Wigglesworth, as she runmed her paper, demurely murmured that she had notioed it, too, but she never should hawdared to speak o! it herself. And Mr. Wig' les worth rubbed his head in a dazed sort of. fashion, and wondered if he really had expressed himself just as he meant to. — Rock* land Coutia Gazette.

C.ml something be done to civil-eyes the tribe of young bavnsjes -who stare at all tho pretty a oung ladiot. on our streets V

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