HO-HO OF THE GOLDEN

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2054, 5 September 1885, Page 6 (Supplement)

HO-HO OF THE GOLDEN

j x fifj.\w ''Ninv Stork* A nuAtfftSrij maiden wa? little Eldeet daughter of wise Wang-Ke; Her skin had the colour of sßffrontea, And her nose was flat as flat could be ; And never waa seen such beautiful eyes, Two almond-kernals in shape and size, Set in a oouplo of slanting gashc, And not in the least disfigured by lashes ; And then such feet I You'd scarcely meet In the* longest walk through the grandest street (And you might go seokirg From Nanking to Peking) A pair so remarkably small and neat. Two little stumps, Mere pedal lumps, That toddle along with the funniest thumps In China, you know, are reckon'd trumps. It seems a trifle, to make such a boast of it ; But how they will dress it : And bandage and press it, By making the least, to make the most of it Aa you may suppose, Sho had plenty of beaux Bowing around her beautiful toes, Praising her feet, and eyes, and nose In rapturous verse and elegant proso I She had lots of loveti, old and young : There was Jofty Long, and babbling Lung. Opulent Tin, and eloquent Tung, Musical Sing and, the rest among, Great Hang-Yu and Yu be-Hung. But though they smiled, and smirk'd, and bow'd, None could please her of all the crowd ; Lung and Tung ahe thought too loud ; Opulent Tin was much too proud ; Lofty Long was quite too tall ; Musical Sing sung very small ; And, most remarkable freak of all, Of great Hang-Yu the lady made game, And Yu-be-Hung she mook'd the same, By echoing back his ugly name t But the hardest heart is doom'd to melt ; Love is a passion that will be felt ; And just when scandal was making free To hint " What a pretty old maid she'd be,"— Little Min-Ne, Who but she Married Ho-Ho of the Golden Belt I A man, I must own, of bad reputation, And low in purse, though high in statisn, — A sort of Imperial poor relation, Who rank'd as the Emperor's second oousin Multiplied by a hundred dozen ; And, to mark the love the Emperor felt, Had a pension clear Of three pounds a year, And the honour of wearing a Golden Belt I And gallant Ho-Ho Could really show A handsome face, as faces go In this Flowery Land, where, you must know, The finest flowers of beauty grow. He'd the very widest kind of jaws, And bis nails were like an eagle's claws, And— though it may seem a wondrous tale — (Truth is mighty and will prevail !) He'd a queue as long as the deepest cause Under the Emperor's chancery laws 1 Yet how he manegad to win Min-Ne The men declared they oouldn't see ; Bat all the ladies, over their tea, In this one point were known to agree .' Four gifts were Eent to aid his plea : A smoking-pipe with a golden clog, 'A',box of tea and a poodlo dog, And a painted heart that was all a -flame, And bore, in blood, the lover's name, Ah ! how could presents pretty bb these A delioate lady fail to please ? She smoked the pipe with the golden clog, And drank the tea, and ate the dog, And kept the heart, — and that's the way The match was made, the gossips say. I can't describe the wedding-day, Which fell in the lovely month of May ; Nor stop to tell of the Honey-moon, And how it vanish'd all too soon ; Alas ! that I the truth must speak, And say that in the fourteeneth week, Soon as the wedding guests were g«ne And their wedding suits began to doff, Min-Ne was weeping and "taking on," For he had been trying to "take her off". Six wives before he had sent to heaven, And being partial to number "soven" He wish'd to add his latest pet, Just, perhaps, to make up the set ! Mayhap the rascal found a cause Of discontent in a certain clause In the Emperor's very liberal laws, Which gives, when a Golden Belt is wed, Six hundred pounds to furnish the bed ; And if in turn he marry a scare, With every wife six hundred more. First he tried to murder Min-Ne With a special cup of poiaon'd tea, Sut the lady smelling a mortal foe, Cried, "Ho Ho I I'm very fond of mild Souchong, But you, my love, you make it too strong." A last Ho-Ho, the treacherous man, Contrived the most infernal plan Invented since the world began ; He went and got him a savage dog, Who'd eat a woman as soon as a frog ; Kept him a day without any prog, Then shut him up in an iron bin, Slipp'd the bolt and Idcked him in ; Then giving the key To poor Min-Ne, Said, "Love, there's something you muttn't see In the chest beneath the orange tree." * * * * * ' Poor mangled Min-No ! with her latest breath She told her father the oause of her death ; And so it reaoh'd the Emperor's ear, And His ighness said , " It is very clear Ho-Ho has committed a murder here 1 ' And he doom'd Ho-Ho to end his life By the terrible dog that kill'd his wife ; But in meiwy (let his praise be sung I) His thirteen brothers were merely hung, And his slaves bamboo'd in the mildest way, For a oalender month, three times a day. And that's the way that Justice dealt With wioked Ho-Ho of the Golden Belt I