LATEST AUCKLAND NEWS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2045, 15 August 1885, Page 2

LATEST AUCKLAND NEWS.

[m ThLhC.RVPH.— OWN CORRESPONDENT.] Fiji News. Apckl v.nd, Friday Night. Tier. Scaw aid ai ri\ ed to day from Fiji, ami repot ts the conviction of a native on foui cases of inccntliattsin. Business is tcuibly dull, although the sugar yields lip ami/iiigly itch, amounting to from three to siv tons per acre, although the average in other countries is only 25 cwt. The North Shore Assault Case. The as ault cisc brought by Mr Forder again«t the Noith Shore Navals came on before the Police Court to day, when Slattery, of the Navals, was bound over to keep the peace. On 'Change. The sharenifirket to day is steady. There is a demand for Cambrias at 2a 4d, Do\ons 2-> Oil, Manukaus 2s lOd and 2s lid, Sa\ons Is 3 1.

Market Reports. Butter remains at Last week's quotations. Eggs ha\e fallen to lOd wholesale and lb letail.

An old couple man and wife, wera along the n harves a day or two ago hunting for an upshorc boat, and the woman explained to a steamboat agent : — "It's a vciy stormy smson, and we evpect to be sea sick, and we'd rather go on a boat \\ heie the captain is a religious man," " Wi-11, that's all right" he replied. "We vo got one \eiy religou» captain in our lino, and his boat sails toni^bt." "Can we go and sec him?" "Oil, yes. Keep right down the street until sec the boat*' The couple walked on and finally boarded the steamer. The captain and all hands were liiis) wall cum), but the old woman said: " Captain, you have been recommended to us as a logliotis man." "The I have' 1 he ptotnptly growled. They looked at each other with consternation depicted in then faces, and then the old man said: " Capting, what church do you belong to ?'' "I'm blanked if I aint botheied by moie dashed lunatics than any other blanked mm on the dashed lakes."' Man and wife ictiicd to consult, and after gi tting 10 f< et aw ay the woman °aid : " Heniy, he's nota u>ligious man." " No, Maria, but you ser this is out West. We don't sweat and belong to the church too up in New Hampshire, but the}' may do differently out here. He swears, bufc he looks like a man to depend upon in a storm." "Shan't we look for another?" "I guess not, Maria. I guess the religions heie in Michigan are kind o' stretchy, and they 'low swearing on steamboats and aiound depots. Wee'lgo by this boat, and if he don't swear any hauler than he did to us mebbe Providence will let him squeeze through on the up-trip and sink him when he cornea down !" — Detioit Free Press. A Collkck Thick.— An American papei siys the recent death of the Rev. Bishop Peck, recalls an incident that in, ule national mirth at his espouse, over thii tj j ears ago ; a cle\ cr trick of the ungiaduated bojs of Dickinson College, perpetiated soon after his accession to the piesidency of that institution. The now distinguished Moncure D. Conway, then a Methodist preacher in prospect, has tho traditional credit of being one of the devisers of the scheme. In the spring of 1549 the Baltimore Methodist Conference held its annual session in Staunton, Va., the seat of one of the three State lunatic asylums. While President Peck was on his way to the conference, the young rascals, in the college of Carlisle wrote » letter to the superintendent of the Staunton asylum, stating that a lunatic had escaped from confinement in Pennsylvania, a very large man, very bald-headed, wtih great, round, staring blue eyes j w hose special form of mania was that h«* was a Methodist preacher and president of Dickinson College. It was thought that he had gone to Staunton to attend the conference to which he fancied he belonged. He answers to the name and title of "Dr Peck." The friends of this unfoitunate gentleman would be exceedingly obliged to the Staunton superintendent if he would watch the cars, and, it the individual described made his appearance, quietly take charge of him, and keep him under asylum restraint till some friend could get to him. All charges for his detention will be promptly met. The superintendent was on hand at the time indicated, singled ont hi« man readily, and courteously addressed him. "Dr Peck, I believe?" " Yes, sir." i "President of Dickinson College?" " Yes, sir." "I have a carriage in waiting for you." -'You aie very kind," said the unsuspecting stranger, as he took his seat in the vehicle, and was forthwith whirled 0(1 to the lunatic limbo, where he would have been incarcerated as 'a dangerous maniac, if the preachers of tli« confeience had not nitcifered and assured the incredulous keeper of the old dominion cranks that the Falstaffian doctor was as sane as the average of humanity, and only the victim of a ridiculoub hoax.