A FEW FABLES.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1990, 9 April 1885, Page 4

A FEW FABLES.

TilK Bru, tn tiik L'iunv .Shop.— One day an " Ole" Bull was Strolling <lo\vn tlie Ai c, and he entered d China Shop. " Now," Slid he, " I have read Somewheie of One of my Ancestors wlio made a Bad Bull once of a Situation like tins, and I am Dotui mined to Lowim tlio Recoid for Imbecility in my Family if Possible." So he Hooked the Ownei and Scared him out of the Shop, and Statted Trade oh his own Hooka (as it were), and in a few Months he had the Pleasure of Seeing his Name Honourably Mentioned in Biadatrect's and in Dunns Business Directories ; and he could also Bull the Stock Markets as he liked. Moral : Read the Papers, and you stand a show to Know and Have Something, even though your Ancestois did make Blanked Fools of themselves. Thk Boy.sands and the Aligator, on tmk Aut.vron and tiik Buoy. — Some Florida Boys who had a swimming Hole along the Banks of the S. John River were often dihen out of Water by a \eiy large AH gator who came to Samj>le them. At last they Hit upon a Little Racket to Get Even with Him. They con-<ti ucted a Buoy, the exact size, shape, nnd shade of an ordinary Boy, and filled it with Nitio-Glycerine, and took a Pole and Pushed it out a little Way fioin the Slioio. Pti'seiitly the Aliyator came up with his Mouth wide open, like a Stetl Tinp, and in one Bite he took in oxer half of the Buoy, who just at that .Juncture went OIY and blew him Tail First about three miles up the Ri\cr. — Mm ul : B'.ys will bo Buoys. Tiik Poi.au Bkau and tiik Tiuki-ns. — A Polar Bear and a Tigress in a Menagerie became Mashed on each other, and as they had already seen a great deal of the World in going from Place to Place, tluy thought they would Escape from their Cagc3, be Wedded, and Travel on thtiro'vn Hooks the rest of their Days. An soon as they were piopcrly United in " Lawful, awful Wedlock," the Question came up about Where they should go. The Bear wanted to go Home. " Foi," said he, "Arctic Expeditions arc all the Rage just now." Hiahiidc 10 pliod that she did not want any Buffalo Robes and Mastcrdon Meat on her plate, and more, that if she went on a Wedding Trip, she wanted to be whore the Papeia would speak of her often, and where she could be Interviewed cvciy Day orho. At last, from Woids they came to Blows, and the Polar Bear had both his Eyes scratched out ; and in Revenge he squeezed the Tigress till he IJioko all her Ribs. Moral: The Old Adage says: "Life is What we Make it," and when yuu make it Hearts, you want to get either a "Lone Hand," or a i^ood "Paid."— S.F. News Letter.