ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1989, 7 April 1885, Page 4

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

The question still is, Shall we have war? though it may be answered befoie these lines appear in pi int. I believe the genoial feeling is that we don't want to fight. As far aa we in Auckland are concerned we certainly are not prepared for war, from which we have absolutely nothing to gain, and through which we might lose a gieit deal. All who were lieie during the Waikato war must ie member the disastious consequences it entailed. Men were taken away fiom their businesses, their fatms or thenwork, and did not get much in the way of gloiv. Our volunteers matched np to Diuty, where they had to do slaughter house work for the troops. There was not much gloiy in that. The first class militia (the single men) matched up to Papikiua,, I think, and the second class militia (the in.mied men under 40 yeais of age) to Otihuhu. 'I ho town was left to the protection of the third-class militia (inn-nod itu>ii between forty and sixty) and the "inlying picket," which consisted uf men who should ha\e been in t|jc second class but wete allowed to foun themselves into acoips for the protection of the town on condition that they provided themsehes with arms. The guna they canned were a \ery mis cellaneons collection. The militiamen of all classes presented a veiy motly appearance. They had no uniform, but each man wore his own ordinal y wot king clothes, varying in colour from the almost white suit of the baker, through all shades of giay and brown, to black. The officers alone wore uniforms. * *

There used to be a goorl deal of scheming and malingering to avoid service in the militia, and it was quite surmising how many men, who seemed to be in vigorous health, suffered from grie\ous maladies. Any amount of stories weie cut rent as to the artifices resorted to in order to deceive the doctors. One which was said to have succeeded remarkably well was to chalk the tongue. However, the doctors had their wits about them, and were not easily imposed upon. Poor old DrC.oldsboio' (he was not very old then) was about the quickest at detecting imposteis. One day he was examining a number of " invalids." One of them had conic hobbling into the 100 m on two sticks, and was quite too lame for any thing. The doctor expressed his sympathy, and said, " Here's a shilling for you, my poor man," throwing one on the floor. The man dropped his sticks and ran across the room to pick it up, making remarkably good time. "I do not think you ate too lame to ser\e in the militia," said Di Goldsboro", as he put his foot on the coin

The Government snem to be in earnest about plating in position the guns now in Auckland, .is they have instructed Mr \\ . H. Hales, the District Engineer, to engage mcii at once to do the pick and shovel work in ponnection with the bat tencs at the North Head. At the same time I must express my surprise that they have not engaged the services of a gentleman living here who is well qualified to superintend the mounting ot the giins. I refer to Major General Uosset, a retiied officer of the Royal Engineers? It the work were entrustel to him we might rest assuied that it would be pioperly carried out, and tlieie would be no danger of our discovering, after the fmtificitions weie completed, that some blunder had been committed that would render them useless. What makes the neglect the more surprising is that Major General (io&set is well-known to Sir William Jervois, having been in the Imperial service with him. We learn from the Wellington telegrams that a MiBell is to be sent up here to supci intend the erection of our fortifications. Hu is a young man who was foimerly in the J'ublic Works Department, and, though he may know something about constructing roads and bridges, the probability is that he knows no more about military engineering than the self-styled Maori prophetess knows about the date of the Socond Advent, and sho has aheady shown that the has made a grievous blunder in her calculations.

It is full time that an alteration was made in the constitution of the Legisla tive Council, not merely in the direction of limiting the term of tenure of seats, but also in the way of making the mem beis elective. It is generally supposed that the membeis of the Upper House are the representatives of the piopcrtied clabs of the colony. That being so, the propel ty-owners should elect them, instead of having vacancies filled as at piesent by the nominees of the Government of the day. We have heard of gentlemen being called to the Legislative Council by mistake.

The Easter encampment of the Volunteers at Papatoetoe promises to be a great success in e\ery way, except in the at tendance of the public as spectators at the teview. The fact of Gooil Fuday ami Easter Monday being general holidays, and the Saturday intervening being a partial holiday, will enable almO3t all the men to go into camp, and it will be an excellent thing foi them to learn the practical p.»rt of a soldier s life, as they cannot possibly do in any other way than by going out into the field. Manoeuvres in the drill shed are very excellent in their way, but, 3hould our Voluntecis ever be called out for active service, it is netes«uy that they should be prepared for the work they will have to do, by having gone through those manceuvies in the open field, in circumstances as similar as possible to those in which they would be placed in actual warfaic. It is a pit} 1 that arrangements could not ha\e been made for on exclusion train to run to Papatoi-toe on Easter Monday, but the railway Tiafiic Manager says that he cannot do it, and we may fait ly assume that lie knows the capabilities of his stall and pl.tnt. Indeed, we know that hitherto lie has not been able to take the large number of passengers who go out to the iaccuours>e to and fro satisfactorily, and if he had to make arrangements for an excursion to Papatoetoe in addition, the inevitable result would be confusion worse confounded.

One of the best things we have had in the way of volunteeiing for the Soudan is the offer of Hote Tamiliana, the son of the famous Wircmu Tamihana, the Maori " king maker," to go thither with two hundred of his followers. I have no doubt the offer is made in all sincerity, because the Maoris are essentially a warlike people (indeed, fighting seems to have been their favourite amusement at the time the first European settlers arrived here), and the prospect of fighting under most furoui able chcuimtanees with regard to Kaikai and wnipuo would be very pleasant to Thompbon and his men. If their servicns were accepted, I feel satisfied that they would gi\e a good account of themselves, for we know how bravely they fought against the British troops. Jlowe\er, it is to be hoped that the war in the Soudan will be brought to a speedy termination, and that there will be no nerd for volunteers from New Zealand, whether Maoris or Europeans. Still it is satisfactory to know that the offer was made, as it is a practical proof of the loyalty of the natives, and of their recog nition of the fact that they are subjects of the Queen, and take an interest in the maintenance of hpr crown and dignity. If, as I suppose he does, Hote Tamihana leads The Waikato Times, he is hereby assured of thanks for his loyalty from bis f i iend St. Mcngo. fSt. Munßo is c\idcntly not acquainted with our fiiuid Hoto. — Kit ]

Ri ii o\ ioh HART) TlMi s.— Slop sp*nduir <so ,1 u< ii on dm- rlothe-i. nrh food, and sl>lc liny tioil fond, cheaper and better clothing, and stop the h-ibit of nsinp expensive or quack doctors, or humlniK nn <lv in< tint dotsjou on)} harm, but tint v>»r tniM in t!i "n Tost of ill simple, pure r<m<dn , \m<nr ,n C o s Hop Hitters, tlut cure nl vijs .if a trifling cost, iml jouwillscc better timcb and good health. Kcad