Humor.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1970, 21 February 1885, Page 6 (Supplement)

Humor.

During the war with the South, says Life, there was a certain company of raw recruits marching rapidly to the front. Their way to the outpost led along a Virginia road whioh stretched over rolling country that was dotted here and there with clumps of trees. At a turning they savr ahead of them a pine grove which grew about a hundred yarda to the left of their path, but they were unaware that in its midst a squad of Kebel oavalry was lying in ambush. As the company got abreast of the timoer, the guerillas opened a scattering fire on their flank. It was the first time that the recruits had heard bullets singing over their heads, and, moreover, they had no idea that the enemy was within five miles of them, so they were uncertain how to regard this demonstration. The squad halted, undetermined what to do ; and one big German, after putting his hands to hia mouth trumpet-fashion, shouted towards the trees : " Stob shooding," and then turned excitedly to the officer in command, exclaiming; " What de deuce aboud ? Dond dey know dey is some bcoblet here '"

"Will you be kind enough, sir, to hold this ram for me while I open this gate ? Itn fastened on the inside, and I jnu3t climb over." This mode3t remark (aaya the New York Sun) waa made by a man who waa standing at a gate on a louoly road, and it was addressed to a stalwart sailor who had just come up. The only other object visible on the long, straight road was the large black ram, whose massive crooked horna were being held by the man aa the two stood quite still in front of the gate. '• Why, sartinly, shipmate," said the obliging tar, as he seized the big horns and relieved the first holder. The latter climbed quiokly over the gate. " I thank you very muoh," he said, politely, when he got to the other side. " You will be surprised to hear that I never saw that ram before to-day. The brute attacked me about half-an-hour ago, and we have been tussling together ever Bince. As long as you stand before him holding his horns firmly he can't hurt you much. Good-bye. I hope you will be as lucky in getting away from him as I have been. It is not known what the sailor said.