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Waikato Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1923, 1 November 1884, Page 6

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Some mothers do not know what to do with the baby on the nurse's " evening out." Various plans of disposing of him have been suggested to ua. One way is to put the kitten to bed with him, and then go to the theatre. This, however, has been objected to by Mr. Bergh, as being cruel to the kitten. Another method is to let his papa walk up and down the nursery while he sings him to sleep in his arms ; this, however, is bad for the baby's morals, as he is apt to pick up many strange and curious interjections from his father. The most popular method is to leave him while you drown any possible noise he might make by playing " Baby Mine " on the piano in the parlor. Had a Tearful Piece. A literary society had assembled at a house on Clifford-street the other night when a stranger pulled the bell and said to the gentleman who answered it : '* Is this a literary meeting V" " Yes, sir." " Very well ; I should like to come in and read my piece." " What is it ?" " It is something to draw teara from every eye." " But what's the subject ?" " It's about onions, sir." For a long minute the two glared at each other, and as the owner of the house reached for his revolver the stranger fled into the darkness. Silence is Golden. Mb. DusiiiEY was making an evening call, and Bobby, who was allowed to sit up a little later than usual, put to him the following question : . " Mr. Dumley, do you want to make $o in ten minutes ? " '• Do I want to make $5 in ten minutes? laughed the young man. "Certainly I do. But how can I make $5 in ten minutes, Bobby ? " ou x " Mamma will give it to you. She told papa that she would give §5 to see you hold your tongue for tea minutes." — Philadelphia Call.

Young wife—" Dear, why are you eating so much more of my cake than usual to-night 7 Is it nicer than last night ? " Young husband __« I—my darling— l— well, to tell the truth, I bet Toozle §5 that I weighed more than he did, and we were geing down to the store to settle it to-night."— Burlington Free Prep.

"How is it, Gustave, that your friend the dramatist always says, • I am the son of my works?' » Well, I don't know exactly, but I suppose it is his frankness. Perhaps it is a way he takes of acknowledging that he is not their father."

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