The Horse Reporter at a Concert.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1863, 14 June 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Horse Reporter at a Concert.

So the city editor produced the pass, and the horse reporter, after punching a hole through it and tying it to his buttou-hola with a white string, Btalked out. In about three hours he reappeared with a sort of doubtful air about him, and, with a glance at a lithograph of Parole over hia desk, by way of refreshment, sharpened his pencil and waded in. The article wasn't used in the dramatio column next morning ; the city editor didn't seem to think it exactly ap» propriate, but he read it to the boys, and they all thought it was a shame to kill it. It went as follows : — There waa an excellent crowd present at the concert la3t night, the grand stand being well filled in every part. The weather was delightful and the sport good. Tne first event on the programme was a chorus for all ages, with some twenty entries, all of whom came to the post. They got rather a bad Btart, Soprano running away with the lead, Contralto second, Tenor third, Basso fourth, and the otheia in a close bunch at least twenty lengths behind. At the quarter there was no particular change, but going down the back stretch all closed up, and there was a terrific race around the turn and dov/n to the wire, Soprano staying the longest, and winning by a neck, amidst uproarious applause. It wa3 a dead heat fos second place between all the others. The next event a solo, with Selection, Olivette, and Soprano as entries. It proved, however, a walk-over for the latter, as Selection and Olivette failed to show up. Next came the great event of the day a quartette between Soprano, Contralto, Tenor, and Basso. At the start Soprano was in ths lead for a few strides, but Contralto passed her, and, taking the track, set the pace at a lively rate, closely followed by Tenor, Basso in the rear. Going down the back stretch, Soprano was lei out, and steadily gained on the leaders. Bound the turn all fairly flew, and while at the head of the stretch Tenor showed clear for a moment, Soprano passed him as they straightened for home, and, chough ho struggled with desperate energy, she came on, straight and game, and won a capital race at the top of hvu voice, the other three completely drowned out. A duet between Tenor and Basso, and another chorus for all ages, wound up the day of sporfc. — Chicago Tribune.

Henry Nichols, a New York Irish Bsvolu* tionist, has built a ram that is going to destroy the entire British navy, if not the greater part of the British empire itself, in one time and two motions. The ram crawls along on the bottom of the ocean, living on clams, and when it gets under the doomed navy it stands up on end and fires four thirty-two pounderg and one rifled 100 pounder, and then fires itself after them. It will cost other people about 1,500,000 dols. if they subscribe for it. It is not quite completed yeD ; in fact, it is only partially finished. To be precise, Mr. Nichols has only got as far as the name. Ha has named it " Attilla, the Destroyer." We feel disposed to censure Mr. Nichols very mildly for naming his ram before it is built. The proper time for a christening is subsequent to the birth. Suppose, after Mr. Nichols's ram is completed, it should prove to be not an " Attilla " kind of a ram, but rather of the Nanny denomination, how mortifying it would be hv Mr. Nichols to feel compelled to change the name of it from " Attilla, the Destroyer," to " Britomarte, the Manhater," or "Victoria Woodhull," or something of that sort. We urge Mr. Nichels to' be careful, also, and keep the ram in the paddock after it is built. These Irish revolutionary rams are wandering in their habits. O'Gunnovan Eossa had one not long ago, a very tame one, too, which used to eat greenbacks out of its master's hand ; ate a hundred thousand and more of them. Well, now, that ram got loose somehow, arid has never been heard of since. Not once. Neither has any of the money. — Burdette.