Fun.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1824, 15 March 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

Fun.

The value of advertising was recently strik* ingly illustrated in Clearfield county. A farmer who wanted help advertised in a local paper for two boys. When he returned home his wife presented him with male twins. —Ex.

"Now, don't forget, dear, to order that load of coal to-day," she said, as he kissed her good-bye, he assured her that he would fail to attend to it. Of course he forgot all about it before he was half way clown towru At the store he was visited by some country customers whom he thought it advisable to entertain, so he took them to the Zoological Gardens to see the animals, showed them about generally, and finally brought up at home in a hack about 2.30 a.m. " You didn't order the coal," were his wife's greeting words. " Oh, yesh didl Yesh did! (hie) got it about me, bet your life," said he feeling hia pockets and vainly trying to remember what his wife was talking about. " Don't shee whas come of it. Lemme shee," meditatively, and then brightening up. "Az whas matter; lef tout in (hie) hack. — Cincinnati Saturday night, In reply to the young lady signing her3elf " A Pretty Girl of Fifteen," in regard to removing freckles from her face, I would say that I have a very simple remedy. That is, to bathe her face in cologne water after tea, and have it brushed with a carefully-selected moustache. It will at least cause them to be forgotten. — Oakland Medical Journal.

No Gentleman : A Chicago minister makes a note of the fact that he has never seen a lady reading a newspaper in a street car. Well, he has never seen a lady smoking on a car platform, either, has he ? It simply goes to show that a lady is no gentleman. — Ex.

It has been estimated that a policeman's eye performs 974 revolutions per minute Avhen he is on the lookout for a pretty girl to escort aoroaa Kearney-street.

o—Man^0 — Man^ delight 1 Amylaceous bivalve of concrete rigidity, Y — e come to cheer, mucilaginous inoluak of saline liquidity — S— ucculent pablum, fat and juicy on the bisected shell, T— orrified nutriment rolled in cracker-dust refresshing to smell 1 E — ateemed sustentation thy viscidity boiled in a stew, B — etail and wholesale, we welcome you !

The Lion meeting the Fox one day, remarked, with some concern, " Eeynard, why are you so Buddenly melancholy? I think I have never before seen you so sad." " Hush," returned Reynard, " I wish to take on the appearance of a great humorist." — Legendary Lore.

Love can never level the rank of an onion.

Lightning recently struck four hundred and fifty pounds of dynamite near N9w Orleans. To say the lightning was surprised is a mild way to speak of the way it was knocked oat.

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