Fun.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1607, 21 October 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

Fun.

A Bbookian man advertises a powder to " cure cats and dogs o£ somnambulism." It is put in a gun. Tub good die young. The bad have to lie about the weather, and arc spoken of as the oldest inhabitants. The gambler lives on our hopes, the lawyer on our quarrels, the doctor on our ills, and the clergyman on our fears. The millenium will throw these people all out of employment. — New Orleans Picayune.

THE MODEBN HIGHWAYMAN. Tim ancient highwayman was stoat and brave, And robbed the lonely traveller of his pelf ; The modern highwayman's a sneaking knave, Who tries to steal the great highway itself. Tiiehe are many remedies advertised for the purpose, but the best way to make hens lay is to post up in the chicken house' a ndtice that eggs are going down five cents a dozen every day. — North American Manufacturer. Why do elderly spinsteis have a predilectio* for parrots ? Well, they have no-^an* n^ the house, and they want something ar ( % r^that can swear. — Boston Post. } o f One year ago a needle .entered the wri it a young lady in Elrnira, arjcl the other dow N was removed f roni the right arm of the i£cr " who is her "steady camp'ny." — Eoch J Express. ' "n An Indian idol of curiout design has bk unearthed at Kirwin, Kau. A local pap V says " it has a handle and l\il<Js about tu*l(C quarts." It doesn't differ niuci from the idol ""*' of the present day. The Zuni Indians, a delcgati. u o f w h oni recently visited Boston, have a nal^ na j hyton the first stanza of which reads : v ' A Ma'-a-we , -"' Ma'-a-we ' \ / Sho-tsi-iiil-lon / tsi-'l-kwa v , / Tsi-kwan tap-te . thil-latht-ta , Thlu-tchun-tap-te '■. thle-po-ne Ma'-a-we Ma'-a-we Nothing more beautiful than this has bAi written since the days when Walt Whitnjn made "leaping sunshine" rhyme with "jefrigerator." I Hek lips were like the leaves, he said, / By autumn's crimson tinted ; / Some people autumn leaves preserve / By pressing them, she hinted. The meaning of the gentle hint The lover did discern, And so he clasped her around the neck. And glued his lips to hern Gos De Brown, who has prolonged his call considerably after 10.45 P. M.: "So you don't admire men of conservative views, like myself, Miss Angel ? Miss A., with vivacity : " No, indeed, I prefer people who have some go in them:" De B. reaches for his hat. — ' , Tiger.