fun.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1595, 23 September 1882, Page 6

fun.

All sorts o£ sleeves are adinissablo for ladies dresses, but the coat sleeve, around the ' waist, remains the favorite. — Lowell Citizen™ , Advice to wives : Man is very much like ail egg — keep him in hot water and he is bountMl to become hardened. — Philadelphia Chroniclt^^A " It's no use to feel of me wrist, Docther^^H said Fat, when the physician began taking lj^H pulse : " the pain is not there, surr : it's i^H my hid entoirely." It is said that " coal is king." Perhaps some of it is, but the last lot that came into I office was dust. — St. Louis Hornet. Well, all I kings that are not dust are going to be dust ™ sooner or later. — Texas Si/tings. THE IADIES* CENSUS PROTEST By man, base man, forever doom'd to weep, To flat rebellion will the wretches drive us : They know we only can one secret keep, And now of even that they would deprive us. A Eochesteh street-car horse shot out with his heels the other day and hit the driver with one and the cash box with the other, and an investigation showed that he had kicked $6 into the driver's overcoat pocket. Such wonderful sagacity on the part of the horse caused the discharge of the driver. — Detroit Free Press. An old toper complained to a doctor that the ardent failed to exhilarate his spirits. The doctor, knowing the inordinate nature of his appetite, told him he had better try aquafortis. A short time afterward he was surprised Jby another visit from the individual, who told him that the aquafortis did very well at first, but it was not strong enough. " I say, doctor," , said he, " don't you think a little aqua fifties^ji would about fix it ?" ' * t^M An article in an exchange is headed " JajlH Gould to Sue for a Keputation." What aman^ who is worth fifty millions of dollars wants with a reputation is a problem too deep for '^ the average mind to solve. Mr. Gould is ricli enough to buy a reputation if he wants one. We'll let him have ours for one-third - r of his wealth, and not a cent less — because it is the only one we have. — Norristoion Herald. A merited rebuke when one is expecting a " lift" comes like a knock on the head.. Says the Galveston News : " Some of the peanutroasters have acquired the pernicious habit of offering for sale packages which, after purchase, are found to be only half full of the healthful berries. Yesterday Gilhooly strolled up to one of these deceptive characters and asked him, "How many peanuts do you sell in a day ?" " Some days I sell two or three bushels." H I'll tell you how you can sell twice that quantity." 'How can I do it?' asked the goober man, eagerly. By putting twice as many in a package.' " 't was ever thus. " Oh, Why slwuldthe spirit of vwrtalbcproud!" A narrow road, with twining branches bowered ; A pair of lovers whispering in the shade ; A sigh, a blush, a softly whispered " yes" A kiss, and thus the old, old contract's made Ten Years After. Three pairs of toeless boots require renewing y Three boye are waiting for the happy chance That dad can buy another pair of breechea ( Hi 3 old ones going to the boys for pants). A grocer's bill to meet, the winter's fuel, Kent day next week, and school boobs to be had; ■♦ - The problem how to make one dollar- fifty Forever pressing on the happy dad. Twelve Years Later. Three lovers o'er three maidens softly benditig . Six hearts that beat as three will neve*- , „ sever; ' '-i'!-" I The same old problems looming in tkfijSjj^^j And thus the nlerry world goes on toimmEtt&KSm —Maiden Headlight. — " Mvstapha CJiokh.'^ij