THE AUSTRALIAN ELEVEN. [REUTER'S TELEGRAMS.]

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1594, 21 September 1882, Page 3

THE AUSTRALIAN ELEVEN. [REUTERS TELEGRAMS.]

London, September 18. The Australian Eleven commenced, on Kensington Oval to-day, a return match against Shaw's Eleven, which visited the colonies last year. The home team went first to the wickets, and were all disposed of for 120 runs. At the close of the day's play the Australians had scored 38, with seven wickets down.

Physician — "Is that all you are going to give me — twenty marks for over forty visits?" Miser — " I should think that was enough. You must consider that if I hadn't been sick you wouldn't have had anything." • 'We have plenty of fresh salt air here ; even our lady boarders wear sol'laires in their ears," said an old enthusiastic seaside landlord. "Don't say so !" said the press guest. "Have you a salt rheum in the house ? "Yes sir," said the landlord quickly ; "a humorous correspondent has it just now." A young man in the train was making fun of a lady's hat to an elderly gentleman in the seatwith him. "Yes said his &cat-mate, "and I told her if she wore that bonnet that some fool would be sure to make fun of it." The young man slid out. Tiik Army of the Future.— Some one, says a writer in a Dunedin paper, has sent me a copy of the Bible Standard, an Auckland publication devoted to the study of prophecy. Prom it I learn that we may look for military operations in the East upon a scale of magnitude which would make Sir Garnet Wolseley's armaments look particularly foolish. They would be swallowed up as a drop in a bucket. Fifty millions of " infernal cavalry" are to appear in the region of the Euphrates, issuing apparently from a cave, and are to waste and worry mankind for the exact space of thirteen months and a day and an hour. The precise number of human beings that they are to kill is three hundred and thirty- three millions. Singular to relate, it is the horses and not the riders who are to do the killing, and " this they do by the fire, the smoke, and the brimstone that proceed out of their lion-like mouths." "But this is not all," says the I writer, "But this is not all, for these horses' tails consist of serpents whose tails are attached to the horses while their heads flash about freely and viciously, and with these do they 1 hurt 1 men, so that these spirit horses are aggressive both front and rear." One might suppose that long-range artillery might be of some use against these horses, since they are apparently unacquainted with fire arms, and fight only with their heads and their tails. But no, says the writer : " Without their own ranks being chinned/by a "Single casualty, they slay no less than a third of mankind." " Awful thought !" he adds. Yet the thought does not afflict him much. "Is it any injustice to cut off such from the face of the earth ? No I The fittest will be permitted to survive to eternity ; the' unfit must be utterly destroyed." Of course; 'the writer himself hopes to survive amoDg the fittest. , , I observe , that jhe Speculates 'concern^ ' the " extraordinary generalship that 'can handle fifty million warriors," for, as, he remarks, •• we must not suppose these infernal ' hosts scatter thejmselx§V )V JrJkhejjv < 9rld m in,Jndiscrimtnate confusion, without method or guidance.'!, Certainly , npjb.,, :\They, will need J aigood g^ney&r/^who/bughj; £o?be <a j^cavalry" *6fflc4r .of '?er^; .fecufliar qualifl^atioujs. 'One' can^ ;6nly/ f 'hop& r , that