THOUGHTS.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1239, 8 June 1880, Page 3

THOUGHTS.

Thinking again, so here goes :—: — I think my friend, Sir George, means to do a bit of the terrier business again (■worrying) this session. The last go in he had was on a very wet subject, viz., "The Piako Swamp. "' Now he goes for the opposite, a dry morccau, in the shape of a pattictcrre (French), which being translated means a mud-pattie or mudpie. He has been anxiously asking for hiSvJohnny Sheehan to put on a committee, re native laud purchases, but Johnny is too sick or something, and has obtained a fortnight's leave of absence, asked for by John Lundon. This looks as if Lundon was &haky, and not sound on the goose.

I think Sir George a, more wonderful man than ever — he actually makes an income tax of 3d in the £, on £1,300,000, amount to £337.000 (vt>!c his speech in Cht'istchurch) ; b 't Johnny Hall is more wonderfuller still, as lie quietly accepts the statement as correct, and makes severe comments on it. The amount of a 3d income tax on £1,300,000 is £16,250, a slight difference. I begin to think, Mr Editor, that some of our swell legislators know very little about finance.

I thought there was a Sydney-square Committee, but if so, whei-e are they ? Asleep, IshouLl think, by the look of the square ! N.B. — I have just been informed a very jovial friend of mi tic is the chairman of the above-named committee. That inlly accounts for the present state of affairs. If he has to settle the matter, I think it will not be done m Hamilton. ]S T o, we shall have to await the conclusion of events until we all arrive on yonder side of " the styx."

I think Dr Walhs must have had a bunk below on the Hinemoa, as he complains t'nat " too much re-poet of persons was shown, and that some occupied state cabins whilst others were put below." I think it a compliment to the Reverend Doctor, as the captain evidently wanted ballast, and considered the Doctor heavy metal — ergo, the down-below business I wonder if Ifioddy Whitaker gos a state cdbiu. 1 11 two to one he did. Leave him alone for that.

I think tlio Auckland Chamber of Commerce is composed of a lot of smart men. They meet to discuss the Property Tax, and one and all — bar J. C. Firth — disclaim all notion of saying anything- against property being taxed Oh, no! Of course they were all willing to bear the burden equally and such-like, and then they finish up by reviving that they would recommend the abolition of the Property Tax and the doubling of the Land Tax. Very good, indeed, considering that they haidly own 1,000 acres amongst them — always excepting J. C. and T. & S. M.

"What His Wipe Want-d —At tho farm-house gate the other morning, Mrs, Whitehall said to Joseph, as ho was readyto drive to town: —Remember, now, what I told you. I want a spool of thread, No. G0 5 10 yards of calico with a dot in it, and a yard and a half of brown drilling for to line the waist.' Joseph drove mto the city as straight as a boe-line —as happy as an old giraffe when the circus is out. He sold his butter and eggs, and was on his way to the dry-goods store when he met a man who once came very near marrying his sister. This was reason enough why they should drink together, and they drank. When a man meets a fellow who might have been his biother-in-law if n mule had'nt kicked the piospectivc brido aero s the dark river, lie can't tell when to <*top drinking Farmer Whitehall couldn't remember whether he imbibed seven or 17 glasses, but the result was the same. When he finally got ready to do his trading he entered a store and muttoved : " Shir, I want shixty spools of dots vriz a twist in 'em !' That was a«. plain as he could make it in any of the half-dozen stores ho entered, and by and bye he discovered he wasn't in the right mood for trading. He found another saloon and more beer, and it was evening when he entered a jewellery store and said : "Shir, I want a yardan' a half of dotswiz f-hizty em." He was tv ned out, and late in the evening he fell down in the street, (too tired to go further. As the officer raised him he muttered : "Shir, I want 10 yards drillin' to line 'er shpool thread wiji." He was^quite .sober when walked out for trial, and, moreover, a little anxious to know what had become of all his vest buttons and one coat-tail. "Do you feel better ?" kindly asked his Honor, as he looked down at the prisoner. "No,*i , I feel woi\so," was the answer. " Nice time you had rolling-around in the street last night." "Squar," " began the man as he faced aiound, " this is th> first time I ever made a fool o' myself with ray both eyes open ! Iv'e got 11 dollars down hero in my vest, an' you can take it ail if you'll let me go. I'll bet a cucumber the ok> wom.m didn't sleep a wink last night and she'll put one o' the boys on a hoss and send him up the road after me ihis morning." "Then you plead guilty X' " I do. I'm guilty, and an idiot to boot." " Dont you want to dust right out for home ?''" "Do I? Why I can't hardly stand still. I want to meet the boy as far out as I kin, and I'll tell him I got upsot." '• Can you remember what your wife told you to gpt?" " I kin. She wanted GO yauls of waist lining, a yard and a half of dots, and 10 spools of enhco, «nd I'll get 'em as I go out." " Well, you may go.'' " Thankee! Whar's my hat? —good-bye."

Diiterknce of Opixiox.— Curious comments by a judge, even in the presence ot the prisoner, though extremely rare, are not unpredecented. Mr. justice Maule once addressed a phenomenon of innocence in a smock-frock in the following words :—" Prisoner at the bar, your council thinks you innocent; the council for the prosecution thinks you innocent; I think you innocent. But a jury of your own countrymen, in the exercise of such common-sense as they possess, which does not seem to be much, have found you 'gu lty ;' and it remains that I should pass upon you the sentence of the law. that sentence is that you be kept in inipisomnent for one day ; and, as that day was yesterday, you may now go about your business." The unfortunate rustic, rather scared, went about his business, but thought that law was an uncommonly puzzling thing. i'nr new Pino Cash Sjstem now being initiated by G. and C. will ceitamly pane ,i benefit to the public. It lias been ,i great succe^-, m S\dncy and Melbourne, and when stnc tlv (.in ltd out the customer who buys ;it an establishment wheielhe poods arc marked low to ensure a r.ipid sale must be a great gainer. G. and C sc 11 their diapeiv, millmar), and clothing ,it such piu es ioi cash as gi\es the bu>cr the advantages of a sh ueholder n a co-operative jotiety, without the risk of being called upon to bearapoition o( the loss should the jear's business pro\e uns.itistactoi\. Guhok and Cramull will aim to retain the confidence which the pi'blic ha\e hithetto shown them, ,md are detirmmed to i^ne the puie c ish sWem a fair tnal; whtthei they gain or lose tin" hist joir. Country buveis on remitting (ash with ordei will be supplied with goods at co-operative pi ices ; just the same as though they made a personal selection. Furnishing goods, such as carpets, floor cloths, bedsteads, bedding, and judicial house furniture, the largest portion of which is turned out at out own lac toiy, will be niaiked at the lowest rcmunerati\e pin es, and a disc ount of fi\e per cent, will be allowed to those who pay at the time of purchase. G. &C. having realised the entire value of their stock during their late cash sale, the present stock is \lw and ciiFAPry nour.nr. An inspection is invited. —G\rlick \\d Cran\vbll, City Hall Furnishing Arcade, Queenstreet, Auckland,