FEATHERS AND CHAFF.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 758, 26 April 1877, Page 2

FEATHERS AND CHAFF.

([From an Auckland Correspondent.) 7 "*~ v '**^-'-' r April 21. • . ANOTHBB RARET. Thebkwot a curious oms m the public court the ' other day. two men named Atkinson Crockett, and William' Webb, Were charged on the information of Henry Waitt, (not'the gentleman who manage! the 'National, at Hamilton, bub a tinsmith; and by the by your Waitt was also .something m the " tin" Hoe, and sometimes 'handled V Boft sawdft "). Ib appears that^ dne of the worthies was, like the owner,, of the donkey "wot .wouldn't go:' "He hired a "jibbing" horse from Wuict, and m order to acolerate the fenimals movements they heated a pair of of tongs t> red-hot, and, while one held the hbrae, the other applied these imple. ments, under, its tail. Mr Kin look, who was" tolled m evidence, said the harse appeared to have been severely whipped, jand the red-hot tonga had bnrnt through the skin lnto_the snbajacent tissues. He itraoed the custom of using hot irons on horses to the Weßt of England, and m 'answer to the Bench, said hia professional observation, led him to believe that a horse under such' circumstances would be •• more likely to go it, than to stand it," and .doubtless hs was right Of course, the whole affair was fine fun, but we are .not told how the horse liked it. It re« 'minds -jone f of -what an American hamou. rist says of hog.hunting, " It's mighty fine sport for the hunters, but not for the hogs." The Justices dismissed the case on the ground that no malice was shown. I wonder what they would have thought if either of them had been stirred up with a : pair" of red-hot tongs. It strikes me they would hive resembled Bailie Nioool Jame m the play. If however, they are Freemuaons they are used to red-hot pokers. ; . OHPROH MHINEBY. ; ?What is all this fuss about church, milinery and certain alter atires m the letter of "A member of the English Church ?", I'm glad, however, that you hate Ritualism (a bucolic friend of mine palls it Ri-too-lalism) as— ahem— as a cerxain ; personage is said to hate holy water. There's a down here who hates Ritualism so much that he can't bear to see a clegyman " look cross." It's a fact. Here's a riddle for some of you, H why is a Ritualist like any other manj? Dye give it up ! -because he has " cut" his wisdom Tooth. : ' 'oiprxiN wklkhb. ■ iTheyeay his name will soon be walker. Hio, Jectures, on forestry don't go down. He : doesn't seem to be cut out X for the timber business, and the gallant Captain is&uiU; : chop-fallen and cut up at hie want of success. I. gather from the Olago ",G;uardian" that his lectures are lugubrious, and there is a lack of timbre m his voice. ; 1} appearß also that hw pronoun* tiutiou of French names is 'all up a tree,' and he stumbles through his M S live a ■new-chum amongst supple-jacks. He Was Maicai '(^nighty) proud Was the Cap. tain, when he 'first came out, it was said :that he had '.squared' Yogel, and there i w flS?^9d- deplof Mpgrolling m the house, over the billet, but how when' anyone. is 1 ; aske ty , whether . the country will gain by Walkers, services, the reply 'is" '.Kauri.'. I hate Running, and I ca/t approve of , the.ib>jrerdigyession. If I can't do better than that I shall advi«e people to follow the example of the Cbinose when they go to a, party. Each man carries a Bupply of _ first-class ready made bon-mots m . writing m his pockets, and reads them out. t It saves a deal of bad joking. ... MflXHpa H*W UNDKB THE Sfftf. ' Dr Schielman is going to explore for j the! Garden of Eden, and a London journal hopes he wont forget to make search for tho original apronis. Th Chinese say , they usad; gunpowder 8000 years ago, and Sterndale fouud the ruins of a church that must; have beea built ages ages ago m one of the South Sea Islands. Bankrnptoy was known to the ancients, and the Egyptians had a game closely rosembling our cut-throat euchre. The latest discovery has been made at Babylon, -where a fellow poking amongst the ruins had unearthed ' a solid cylindrical figure, which was evidently used by the ancients as a printing machine, ; aud may be said to embody the identioal principle of the newspaper michines of the present day.' So auy« the London Echo, and no one who hasn't seen the roller oon gainsay it. Then I ask, where is all our boasted enlightenment, and progress, »ad science, and all the rest of it.' We know that the vie of chignons was common m Japan from time immeW" al - Spiritualism is as old as the witch (if Endor, Ritnalism was praotised by a scot' of Jews, Good Templary began with Rechab, and now we find that the Walter printing machine was used 4000 years ago m Babylon. After all there may be something m Plato's cycle, and, perhaps come tuoussn-is of years; ago, mankind were doing exactly what we are doing now; going mad over Moaaatairw, getting whitewashed or making fortunes, getting married or divorced, wearing pulbacka and patent glass-eyes, blaspheming at our mothers-in-law, hanging up Counties' Aots and growling at direct taxation* A WARNING. A corespondent who dubs himself «Ju B fc Measure' writes a homily m the " Star" to dishonest milkmeu. He narrates with great gusto a story about a Scotch woman who ohuseled her customers by mixing an equal proportion of water with the locteal fluid, and by that aieans amassed exactly double the money she would otherwise have made. She embarked with her fortune m a ship, intending to settle m .North America. Probably she found oootland toe hot to hold her. En passant, it maybe mentioned that few milkmen make fortunes m the same way now though they use quite as much water, if not more; and if some of them could be induced to emigrate no one would mourn their absence. But return we to our bud* ject :— The wonvw fell sick, and as she lay m her bunk the ship's monkey stole her purse from under her pillow and bolted with it up the rigging. Then he paused and grinned at the old woman who had pursued him on to the deck, and, to her horror, deliberately dropped pieces of gold alternately on deck and into ihesea, leaviug the woman to pick up. just that amount of money that she would have got by the sale of milk minus the water. * Just Measure sees m this the retributive finger of Providence, and concludes that honesty is the best of policy. But he doesn't say aothing about the dishonesty of tha monkey. Lwish we bad a few monkeys m AucklaipHo regulate mat ters. We've got some «F J>'B, bul'tbey huvu't got the nice discriminution and practical skill m adjustment possessed by that monkey, j r