MR. AND MRS. SHOTT.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 719, 25 January 1877, Page 3

MR. AND MRS. SHOTT.

Mr Shott hadn't been out of Detroit in seven y«ars (says the Free Press) when the other day ousiriess called him to Chicago. Mrs Shott wanted to go along, but he said times were too hard, he didn't want to have the bother of taking care of her, and she was compelled to remain at home. He reached home in the evening, after an absence of two days, and, as he sat eating his supper, he said, : 'I tell you it was along way, and I'm glad you didn't go.' 'Lonesome, was it?' she asked. 'It would have been fearful if I hadn't had a young lady in the seat with me,' he replied. 4 What ! a young lady in the seat with you?' 'That is — that is -you know, the car was crowded,' he said. And you offered her half your seat ?' ' I — that is, she sat down there,' he stammered. Mrs Shott's ears grew red, and her eyes snapped. ' And so it was lonesome, was it ? You didn't speak to her 1 suppose?' inquired. the wife. • Why, I— I spoke once or twice, of course.' 'Nice young lady, I suppose ?' ' Well, no, 1 can't say as she was.' .'And there you sat and looked your sweetest, aqd I'll bet you passed yourself off as a single, man.' * I don't know as I did,' he replied, as he drank his tea. 'Did you inform her that you were married and had three children?' she demanded. ' I don't remember, though I presume I did.' 'You presume you did! Well,l presume you didn't. I know just how you satup there and pretended to be a rich widower, and took care of her satchels, and bought popcorn and illustrated papers for her P Mr Shott inquired if there was any more biscuit. 'It's a nice operation your coming home and expecting me to find biscuit for youl' she went on. 'Why didn't you ask if that young lady could make a biscuit ? Why didn't she come home to tea with you ?' ' Nancy, don't be foolish,' he observed. 'Don't be foolish 1 Who is foolish ? Here was I scrubbing round and baking, and patching, and breaking my baek, and you were braced up in a seat beside a young lady, and stroking those yellow whiskers, and talking about your bonds and mortgage?, and your lonely widower life.' 'I wasn't,' he briefly observed. 'Daniel, did that girl ride all the way from Chicago with you?' asked Mrs Shott, as she toyed with the handle of the milk jug. ' Did she? Lemme see ?' he mused, and, as he helped hmselftothe flutter. 'You know she did!' shouted Mrs Shott. 'If she got off at any of the stations, I didn't see her,' he admitted. 'And there you sat and sat, and rode and rode, and you paid out the money we need so much in the house for peanuts, and popcorn, and juba-paste, and pictures ! Daniel let me see your wallet.' •My wallet !' ' Yes, sir, your wallet.' ' What for Nancy?' ' I want to see your wallet !' 'It's the same one I always had.' ' You left home with 16 dollars, and I know exactly what the trip cost. Fare to Chicago and back, 17 dollars; hotel bill, 2 dollars ; I'll allow one dollar more for incidentals, and now, where's that 6 dollars?' 'I— l.- J he stammered. 'You what?' 'I met Green down by thed«pot,

and lent him 4 dollars.' 'Daniel Sbott» who is Green, and: where does he live ?' Daniel didn't reply. ' 'Daniel ish'tt, you've lied to me!' she exclaimed. 'Yoii didn't want to take me along, owing to the hard times. You said I'd' bother you. If I'd been along you'd growled four times a mile about the bother and expense, and there you went and squandered four dollars on her, and here I've worn these old shoes seven montlrs to save expense.' 'I'll get you a new pair pretty soon,' he replied. 'You will, eh I When?' 'Before the 4th of July, anyhow.' • You can squander four dollars on an unknown girl, and make me wait four months for shoes, can you?' •What unknown girl?' 'Daniel Shott —I' And the milk pitcher came down on his head, she caught him by the necktie, and the oldeht boy ran out of doors and yelled * Fire !' Several of the neighbours ran over, but Mrs Shott met them at the door, and said it was only a burning chimney. When they asked for Mr Shott, she remarked, « Mr Shott doesn't feel a bit well, and is covered up on the lounge.'