Notices to Correspondents.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 532, 16 October 1875, Page 2

Notices to Correspondents.

" Yours Truly," Wangarei.— You are not "ours truly." Nobody who attempts auch mean under hand artifices as yours, can be " ours truly," or "ours" in any way whatever. W« decline to have anything to do with you. t Why did you not •end your name, and why ''truly" ? The latter word you must hare added ac a piece of delicate irony. We are not to be used as tools for the gratiticatim of petty malice. Therefore ■we decline your friendly suggestion to "slate" the editor of the •' Wangarei Comet." We desire to deal tenderly w^th our brother of the pen. Therefore wo shall abstain from using harsh language. We will not hint that he indulges in low scurrility, when he speaks of "his correspondent" Fair Play as one "of the donkey species," as "a cross-breed between Darwin's ape species and that of the bellowing animal just mentioned." We had an idea that Wangarei was a peculiar place, and therefore we are not surprised to learn that the donkeys of that region " bellow." This is "crocs- breeding" with a Tengance. The expression "narrow-gutted brain," which the editor applies to "Fair-play's" cranium is decidedly novel. It is probably another peculiarity of Wangarei. This ntvel order of brain is vrell worthy of investigation by the faculty. It appears to have escaped the notice of Bain, Abercrombie, Dr Carr, Dr Beale, and other eminent writers on psychological phenomena. We would suggest in the cause of hcience that " Fair Play's " brains should be scooped out and sent to the British Museum, which, would no dor confer an M.R.A.S.S. degree upon the lei/ued editor. But the most singular thing about " Fair Play" is this :— The editor has discovered that he ii not only an extraordinary belltwing combination of the monkey and ass, but a "mean, crawling, sneaking, skulk," an empty headed fool," and a "prattling, babbling yahoo." The lepidondendron, megatherium cuvieri, and fucoidei ligillarie, are entitled to our respect, the cannetorm stigmaia, and neuropterii gigantea will always command our admiration to the plesiosanurus dolichodeirous we shall ever cave in ; and last, but not least of the pterodactylus crassirdstris we shall always stand in unutterable awe. But the strange animal of Wangarei " knocks" all these. If the editor of the " Comet " desires to gain immortal fame let him gave this wonder-inspiring specimen, and call it the " waagacometsasinus bovogiganteayahabellorius." And then his historical propoundity. Shades of Heredotus, Ctesias. and Homer! what marvellous contempt he displays for such trifles as chronology ! For instance : — " Does " Fair-play" want the ideas on the subject of residents of Whongarei to go forth to the world to tell an Addison or a Macauley how the great Napoleon erred in a military movement or a diplomatic tactic " P Think of poor Joe Addison wno died exactly fifty years before' Napoleon was born, writing of that commander's '• military movements, or diplomatic tactic ! " We hare no means of estimating the capacity of the editor of the « Comet's " brain. Of the "narrow. gutted" species, however, we are sure it is not. More likely it is of the " pot-bellied " genus. Cornstalk. — In our next. Carlos.-* Ditto