STIRRING REPORT OF A THANKSGIVING SERMON.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1064, 18 April 1873, Page 4

STIRRING REPORT OF A THANKSGIVING SERMON.

Yesterday we sent out our new reporter to get a report of a sermon—a thanksgiving sermon. Now this reporter has been bragging of his ability to make excellent reports, and we engaged him for this special occasion, expecting something better than usual, because the fellow ready appeared to have an idea of the eternal fitness of things. We told him to attend the services at Church, where the Rev Dr.

was to preach. The Doctor was one of our sensation preachers, always draws full congregations and is regarded as a model man. Toward midnight our envoy extraordinary returned with a dull heavy step, his eyes fairly swimming in liquid eloquence—or something else—his voice thick and beery, while a half smoked cigar hung over the larboard side of his jaw. Straightening himself up, he gave us a comical look of importance, and said, as he threw a roll of manuscript upon our desk, "There's a bully report—betcher life on't." We took up the MS and read as follows:—" The performance at was well attended, the ladies were dressed in elegant toilette, in fact one and all appeared to vie with each other in getting themselves up in the most stunning style. Mis 3 wore an elegant silk dress, cut in the modern style, flounced with sixteen rows of frilled gussets. An elesantsilk velvet cloak encircled her voluptuous bust, whilst a jaunty hat of peacock's feathers, rested upon her noble forehead. She had powdered her face a little too carelessly, and its effects were plainly disceruable ; her lips had been slightly rouged j and pouting like the ripe peach, caused many a one to sigh for the privilege of pressing them. Mrs Dash (the bride of Colonel Dash) was the observed of all observers as she sat in her elegant pew, and looked queenly at those who occupied less elegant state. She has been a lucky girl, and one old lady declared that she was considerably stuck up since her father made a fortune in diamond stock, and she married old Colonel Dash who was old enough to be her father. But we cannot continue; where all the ladies were dressed so elegantly and becomingly it is worse than folly to particularise, because it will be sure to rouse jealousy in the hearts of those who are not mentioned. The Rev. Dr has been engaged for the season by tho management of this establishment at the rate of 240 dols. per sun, and a first-rate star he i.--, but his audience yesterday were dull, cold, and unsympathetic, and he was unable to put himself en rapport with it. In fact it would not' enthuse' worth a cent, and notwithstanding he made a number of telling hits, he failed to bring down the house. Your reporter did applaud vociferously, but being regarded as a dead head, was looked upou with surprise and indignation, and was finally told by one of the ushers to desist. The orchestra

was slightly out of tune, and the organ sounded wheezy, evidently suffering from a recent attack of epizootic from which it had not thoroughly recovered ■; but take it for all in all, the performances of the pieces was quite satisfactory. At the close of the exhibition the ticket-taker camo round ' and collected the admission fee from those who bad slipped in without paying. I told him I belonged to the press and he passed me. It is evident they pass the press there." Now what ought we do with such a reporter as this ? —Alta California.