MISCELLANEOUS

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 1027, 3 December 1872, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS

A gentleman in the rural districts advertises for " a woman who fears the Lord and weighs 200 pounds." It is suggested that the experience of most men is that a woman who weighs 200 pounds rarely fears the Lord or anybody. . The ' New York Review ' Rays that a German musician has discovered that the tone of a violin can be greatly improved by immersing the instrument in lager beer, and leaving it thero until it becomes thoroughly saturated. Tcutouic followers of this recipe are cautioned against making any confusion between the instrument and themselves.

A woman recently " cut up " her husband, not metaphorically, for most '• maridos " are accustomed to blowing, cutting, and all other kinds of " ups," and downs too, but literally. The human tigress murdered him while he slept, then cut him into stripes like jerked beef, packed him into a trunk, and depositsd same " under her own bed." Tho woman has been arrested, and is said to bo stark mad. —' Buenos Ayres Standard.' A correspondent wrote to an American editor to say he had got so far in politics as to " hurrah for Gr ," but did not know whether to end with " ant," or " cely." The editor replied by referring to the sixth verse of tho sixth chapter of Proverbs, where it is written, "Go to the ant thou sluggard." Mr Josh BiUihga says this much of billings and cooings : —" Courting iz like 2 little springs of soft water that steal out from under a rock at tho fut .of a mountain, and run down by the hill side by side, singing and dancing add squattering each other, eddying and frothing and cascading, now hiding under bank, now full of sun, and now full of shadder, till bymeby tha jine, and then tha go slow."