THE PURE JUICE.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 959, 5 April 1872, Page 3

THE PURE JUICE.

A teetotaller of thirty years standing wants to know whether a man can get drunk on colonial wine! Let him try it, and I won't answer for his standing any more for the present. Instead of writing to the papers to ask the question, he can get a bottle of this kind of teetotal drink from the grocers and drink it. If he dosen't feel "mixed" after it you can call me a Dutchman. Why, I recollect going to see a man once that brewed colonial wine. A kiudly, good sort of an old cock, he took me to his cellar behind a stable, and let me loose, as it were. "This," says he, holding up a glass, " I call the pure juice of the grape. There isn't as much as a whisper of brandy in it." We sat across a log in the cellar dreaming the happy hours away—and we drank that pure juice of the grape. We talked and dranked the pure juice., of the grape. We argued ; and drank the pure juice of the grape. We borrowed money of one another, and we d-d-drank the pure juice o' the g-grapo. We sang, and we g-graped the poor juice o' the drank. We chirruped, and we drunkypurejuiceograpes! There was a bundle of straw in the corner of the cellar, and I slumbered. There was a bundle of straw in the other corner, and there the other man slumbered. When he woke up I asked him how he felt. He said there wasn't a headache in a hogshead of it. It was the pure juice of the grape! Still I thought we'd been drunk, and I think so still, otherwise why did that other man snore so, and what fetched him, as he called it, off the " propindicklars." My teetotal friends, and my friends that aren't teetotal, don't deceive yourselves. Take the very purest grape juice you like, and in fermentation, as I've read in books, "the sugar is decomposed and the brandy formed." This is the stuff to make a teetotaller talk of his friends."