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Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 815, 20 May 1871, Page 3

The following is told of a young society gentleman, who graduated from Harvard. On the examination in'Tphysics he was asked—" Mr , what planets were known to the ancients ?" " Well, sir," he responded, " there were Venus and Jupiter, and " —after a pause—" I think the Earth, but I'm not quite certain." No Use. —A wife, who had been lecturing her husband for coming home intoxicated, became incensed at his indifference, and exclaimed, " Oh, that I could wring tears of anguish from your eyes!" To which the hardened wretch hiccuped, "'Tai—'tai—'tain't no use, old woman, to bo— bo— bore for water here!" " Make way here," said a member of a republican deputation, '• we are the representatives of the people." " Make way yourself," shouted a sturdy fellow from the throng, " we are the people themselves." Ata recent meeting of a parish, a strait-laced and most exemplary curate submitted a repoit of the destitute widows and others who stood in need of assistance from the parish. " Are you sure, reverend sir." asked another solemn brother, " that you have embraced all the widows?" lie said he believed he had. A poetical .America'! describes ladies' lips as ,; the glowing gateways of pork and potatoes."