FOOTBALL IN AMERICA.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 4995, 6 April 1895, Page 3

FOOTBALL IN AMERICA.

" Yes," said the football player, as he donned his heavily-padded knickerbockers," the game has been robbed of all its rough features and is now more child's play." He paused a moment to adjust a complicated leallmr harness that held his curs close to his head mid thoroughly covered them up, and continued: "The new rules are designed to cliiuinato all elements of danger, and prevent players from being injured in any way. They promise to succeed admirably," he added, \\\ slightly nasal tones, as he placed a thick rubber nose-protector over that organ. "Under the old and so-called harharousrules, broken legs were not infrequent," ho said, strapping on his heavy shin-guards, " hut the public may be sure that all that lias now been done away with." Brushing hack his long, chrysan-themum-like locks, the better to see, he tied about his waist atid over his leather jacket a wire chest-protector, and struck it a resounding blow with his ■ massive fist. "Tho abolition of momentum play has mado the sport almost as gentle as tennis or golf, or baseball," he said, with what seemed a sigh, affixing stout knee-caps to his knees and ankleprotectors to his ankles. " By-tho-way," he added, " when you see her in the grand stand tell mother that my life-insurance policy is in the safe-deposit." He paused an instant to adjust his wrist supporters, and then continued : " The fact is, old man, just between us, the game has been ruined. It is babyplay now. Girls could play it without dislocating the crimp in their front hair. Chess and cribbage are dangerous when compared with the new style of football." Placing a thick rubber teethprotector in his mouth ho strode toward the field where beauty and fashion had gathered to see the rival teams battle for supremacy.— Harper's Baimr,