TWO FAMOUS JOKES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XI, Issue 3699, 31 December 1890, Page 2

TWO FAMOUS JOKES.

How THoy wo peiuetratod on iii Spurof tneMomwrt.

Tho memory of Tteodoro'Hook, the ' ' celebrated English, humoi iafc, ia very.' \ appropriately associated with the most 4 audacious jest on. hii ' announcement, when recalled from'' ' ' his post as Governor l of Mauritius ;bn" r ft ohavge of embezzling, 60,000dpiof ■ the public money, that ha'had;! cp.mo„ home "on account of a disorder in his chest," But the roost brilliant of his comic feats wnsachioveil in concert with bis famous rival, Tom Hood, Tho two were strolling on the outskirts of London with their , friend Obarlcs , Matthews, the great actor, when Hood said to Hook: "They .call': us 'tho inseparables,' bu t,a fto rail ~i feonly natural that Hook-and-eye should always be together.' Eh; Thecj "Bravo, Tom l "■'> crieil '-Hook ; "that's the best I've heard for a time. I "say, suppose we have fj, match 'which of us two can make.die -. best joke on tiio spur of thotaomeut,' Charlie Matthews. here. bo umpire, and loser' shall : stand' tjwt for a supper for three," **. • • "Done!" said Hood ; and scarcoly '' was the word uttered. they, ; espied asif;nboard,the owner of which, wishing to advertise that hesold beer/ : had unluckily worded the announce* ment "Bear sold here." v' 1

"Oho!" said gupgoso that bear means his " u "Well done I" cried . Charles Matthews; "you'ilhavehard work to beat Mai friend Thomas."

"I dare any he'll do it,; , said Theodore; "ht> carries more x than than two faces under one,Hood--don't you Tom ?"

At that moment they turned a , 6harp corner, andoamein sight of a small tumble-down house, standing in tho midst of a wretched little plbt'of' worn and trampled grass, juat in front,, of which was displayed a luge boiril,' with the inscription "Beware tha v . ..... :r

Hood lookod warily around hitnin all directions, and finding no dog anywhere visibloj picked up a piece of broken brick and scribbled undorneath / tho warning " Ware k the dog ?" A A " Well, I'll tell you what it is, boys," said Charles.Matthews,./<s?)s can't dooido between two aitoh jokes'' as those, and what's more, I'mnot • fioiug to try jso we had better . and sup together,' ■ and eioh' pa(Kia : r : j own share."—David Kerr, in | 'Harper's Magazine, 1 ; v ,-