American Ladies.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume X, Issue 8093, 2 January 1889, Page 3

American Ladies.

I met a very old and very quaint American lady in Venice once. S'he came up to me and said, "I know what you are, and what you do. I hope you'll give us some of your funny things to-night." 1 explained

that I was holiday making, and, I was going to meander lazily In a gondola that night. Apparently resenting my refusal to sing, she retorted; • " Well, I think you're the least funny-looking man I ever met."

There was another American lady on board a British India steamer when 1 went to Cairo in 1886. Bhe was piling up Jarge heaps of jam and buttered toast on a plate. " What are yon going lo ! do with.that, madam ?" oriquired an astonished old gentleman.. " Mr,'' she said," 1 uin doing ,nnto others; I. would be taking tins'. up; to-, a sick friend on deck I" If anybody, friend or otherwise, ever brings me jam and buttered toast when I'm sea Ridlf. I'd fall. on them ai,d crush

them I" : This charitable American. 'a ; dy was the\wifo of» missionary on' board.: There were: we six'.or dyeu of them; and they sang -such doleful hyranß, vulgar,' suga'r-and-watery • sort- of-: -negro-minstrel melodieswithsecrfd.words adapted| WtJWffl. tO B)V

, mind so uncongenial as tlie common ! place hymn time-tho-hymn tune ?■ .that s'maoks of the bones, banjo, and tambourine. Still, on Sunday, evenings tip and down they paced singing these clap-trap, tunes in', strong. ant) •vigorous tones.,- -At'last.they began "Ood t>avo tho Queen." ; '" Ha I"'we exclaimed, "atlast.'thereisastraigbtforward, "simple !ineelody, and,''more.dver.it'shows. that the end is dt band.' Not a bit of it. • They bad' adapted words to it of their own,'and the eli'd ,was, ip far .'off as ever.'''' T ■'~; ' ,'J'Jierewas a silent but humorous Scotchman'on board, and. never a word spake he, but he silently went to his cabin. 'Still on and. on went our loud-voiced iniustrels, up. and down.'iip an I'dowii, regardless of the feelings of quiet, elderly ladies in the saloon, writing letters to the friends towhonliheyhatlsaid good-bye for years or for eveiy'regardlhsa" of the sick people moaning in their berths. .Suddenly therestolion,.our ears a faint weird sound. Not/pig ; killingon Sunday? No 1 nearer and nearer it came. The 'relief of Luokriowl ' Twns the ougpipes.l I Blessings on ' your head, my boiinie Soutch-laddie I JBJfiw your pipsVl H<j;itaw,i' 11 'i;iiat " Hieland Lan'iont" did it,, Wo saw our American cousins no more for. , twenty-four hpurs.-Froin " Uurney v Grain," by Himself, )

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