MR AND MRS BOWSER.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 3030, 16 October 1888, Page 2

MR AND MRS BOWSER.

"My dear child" said im old aunt of mine the duy I was married," havo you pot all your husband's love letlorsl" "Of course," "And now J that you nro married you will probabl v hurn 'cnif "That's just what I ' was going to do." 'Well, don't. Keep 'em to tho longest day you livo," ' ''But why?" " Because they will be ( stronger weapons than dll your taars, ' pleadings or arguments, Nothing will bring a hnslmnd to time like a sight of somo of tho love-letters he 1 wroto before marriage," I took her advice, and have always been glad I 1 did. On several occasions I Jiavo 1 used them to bring Mr Bowser down 1 off his high horse, and the fact that iltey bother his peace of mind is proved by the other fact that he hat several times hunted the house over in mv absence in hopes to lay hands oil them, Something went wrong at tho office tho other day, aud In came homo cantankerous, Ho held it until we , got to the supper table, and then broke out with: '• Got anv name for these things here I"" Ye?, dear, thosn am called biscuits." Well, tho man who calls Vm fit to eat ought lo be shot! Mrs Bowser, why is it I can never get anything fit to eat in mv own house!" "Why, Mr Bowsprl No one could take more pains than wo do, In order that tho biscuits wight be extra good I went out and made them myself," "Humphl" " There was a time, Mrßowser, when vou raved over my cooking," "Never I I knew from tho day that I set eyes on you wading across a mud puddle that you could not cook, You can sing very well-as well as Bomrhad actresses—but you can't cook," "And if I provo that you onco hungered for my cooking you.will " " I will give you SSO cash in hand " 1 After supper I went upstairs and ; brought down several letters. Mr ' Bowser had got his nose into a maga- 1 zine, and wanted tho matter dropped, ■' but- I read to him tho following 1 extract : I

"-And I thought, darling, while eating eupper that night how proud I should be over your delioioua cookery when wo had a homo ol our own. The thought of thono biscuits alone makes mo hungry. Good bye, my pet " Who wrote lhatr sternly demanded Mr Bowser. "You did—vou knowyotulid," "Whens" "Tbreo wpntbs before our mafrisge," "-No,

never |" " But here's the letter, fluted and signed." "It ia a baso forgery, and the forger must beware! How could I lnve praised your cooking?" " Yon also used to .praise m y sinning, Mr Bowser." " Never I" 1 Oh, but you did,. Let me read Ami, precious pst of mine, lot me again thank yon for that beautiful Boog, "The Lovers Farewell," and the exquisite manner in which you rendered it, it diew team from my eyes, rud 1 was not ashamed of than. You have one of tho purest, clearest voices I ever heard.

' Who wrote that?" li«'gasped;-"You did." "Mrs Bowser, dont carry this thing too far I There is n limit beyond which you must not go I" "Well, here it is, in your own writing and over your own signature. Once in a • while you fling .out a hint that I nm very dull. There was a time when vou thought different," " Look" out, Mrs Bowsei I" " Ytu you did I You even thought ine tho stuurtcr of the two."" " W-what I Am I awnke or ( dreaming I" "Wide awake, Mr Bowser. Let me rtrnd you an extract from this exhibit marked 1 A 1" 1 don't see why yon should go baok to Vcssar, Few young ladies are inoreaccom. plished or better educated, Allyourfricnds, myself inoluded, give in to you on tho mat- ' tor of p anraiar in particular, Hope to seo you as usual nest Sunday, my dear litllo honeysuckle. Mrßowsersatandlookedatmelikeone terrified. | "And, sir, you often fliug nut ahout.the sire of my feet, I admit thai they are as large again as I should have ordered from a dealer, although I wear too. 3'b with a great deal of comfort. Let me sav, however, that your mother wears 6's, vour three sisiers 6's, and the two girls you. kopt company with liet'urn we met wear full II Mrs. Bowsjr, do you suppose I will stand such insults in my own house I" he shouted as he-sprang up, "Are facta and truths insults ?' I have been reading from your letters." "Never! never 1 If ever I wrote suoh stuff I was crazy ?" "But hero is your signature. You remember you used to want me to sign my letters 1 -Rosebud, 1 and you signed yours 'Oak Leaf,' 'I never did I No power on earth can convince me that I was such a fool as that!" '"Well perhaps you will remember this sentence, You wrote it three mouths before our marriage. Listen, Oh my liosebud, but the heart of Oak Leaf was made a thousand times'lighter by the receipt of your loving note yesterday. It tlioso delicious little missives should cease coming I shall pine and die,"

" And you olaim that I wrote that?" he asked in a strange voice, "Of course, You can't go back on your own writing, can you ?" " You assort that thoße are my letters do you {" "Certainly. 1 ' "And that I called you fond names, and wanted to dio for you!" " That's about the site of it, Mr Bowser. You wrote me several times thut you were as much my slave us if I had bought you. i think you'd have jumped into a well any tiuie J asked you," Mr Bowser put on his overcoat and hat, drew on his "loves, and then kissed the baby and said: "Good-bye, darling. If you never see papa again, remember that he loved you," Ho went off without so much us a look at me, but about midnight came homo very softly and crept into .bed, and next day went on liis usual hunt after that pilo of love letters,—Detroit Free Press,

Wonderfully (rood Eyes* Lap-dogs, in the Statos, at least, liavo gone out of fashion, and parrots have taken their places in tho ficklo affections of the fair Americans, Iho l'arisiennes, throwing aside their wonted frivolities, have developed a wonderful taste for. astronomical science, Ladies are having their sumrnor houses turned into observatories, and spend their evenings in gazing at the moon. This reminds ine of a quite true story of learning and—quite tho other thing. I must not be so rudo as to call it ignorance, especially when it concerns a lady of my Irish rank, Tho Duchess of Q —went to Greenwich to see tho Observatory-itwas not tho Duchess of Q —, and it was not Greenwich, but no matter. It was a lovely night and the great toloscope was levelled for tho fair Duchess's benefit at tho dazzling field of stars. " What is that star?" she asked pointing to a very bright 0110. "Oh, that's Aidebaran; it is a star ol the first magnitude." Is it far off?" said HoiGrace. "About six or Beveu light years Your Grace. What is a light year?" "Morely an expression which I use to signify tho distance which light travels in one ygar. Kouglily speaking, light travels at

tho rato of 190,000 miles in a second ami tboro are about 81,580,000 seconds in a year, In ono year, tlioroforo, light travels about five million nine hundred and ninety one' thousand eight hundred and forty 'millions of miles, Tho expression light year includes theso figuros." "And is this'star, all thoso miles away?" "Yes Your Grace, as nearly as wo can calculato." " Then all I can say" romarked tho Duchess, "is that you must have wonderfully good oyoa to malio out tho star's name, at that distance, ovon with

this big tolescopo! It's really most marvellous I"